A
female
age
30-35,
*eckieYMA6
writes:I have put on loads of weight recently, and now i feel really ugly.It makes me feel awful, but i'll be honest, knowing that i'm pretty stops me from doing anything about my weight.I'm a size 16, but have quite big bones, so i'm just really lucky it doesn't look that bad. But i have still put on weight and have gone from being a healthy weight, to fat.It's really upsetting me but i can't seem to find it in me to diet or exercise more. It almost like, to everyone else i'm confident and don't really care,but on the inside i feel ugly and fat.I really want to be skinny for my boyfriend.Is there anything i can do to get me motivated and help this dream come true. I've been told many times before that if i lost about 2 stone, my body would be gorgeous.I just can't seem to get my attitude right.I love fruit and veg, but i have a terrible sweet tooth.Can anyone give me/ tell me some stuff to get me motivated. Maybe a diet plan. or an exercise plan? Theres a history in my family of rapid weight gain in a few years for me, and i've heard it's incredibly hard from then on, so i really want to get into A healthy habit now, before it gets that far.(I have a boyfriend, if you would like to involve him, he is very skinny)Please help me!!! x Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2011): In life we all go through personal issues. But, “Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence as accomplishment” quoted Thomas Carlyle. And he is totally right. In order to feel completely beautiful we must have confidence and believe in ourselves. Nobody is perfect but we can all try to do something to improve ourselves in many ways. For example, starting a new routine can help you accomplish the goals you will set for yourself. Find something or someone to motivate you. Also try to build up your self-esteem. There are many ways to make this possible. Beyond that make sure to always smile, feel confident, and don’t let negative remarks put you down. In order to accomplish a certain goal we must get motivated. Try to look for something or someone who can motivate you in reaching your goals. You will need someone to push you on doing the right thing. Always set goals for yourself. Also you can make a daily routine that you will be able to follow. This will help you manage your days better and will give you time for everything. Having a routine will also help you eat properly and on time. There are also many other good things you can do to get motivated. Always stick to what you say and don’t let other things distract you. When starting your new routine always start off slowly. Don’t rush. Reading about what you want to do will also help. Always remember to think positive. Don’t let negative thoughts put you down. Having low self-esteem and low self-confidence can cause depression. By being overweight and thinking negative about yourself will cause your self-esteem to get lower. Once a person is depressed it is very difficult for them to become motivated to change their ways. Instead they are just going to continue to gain weight by being depressed. When a person gets depressed they do not want to work out, eat healthy, or socialize with peers. In the article “Does Being Overweight Cause Depression?” by an anonymous writer states that, “Depression for some can increase their appetite.” Depression is not only caused by negative thoughts, but also by what other people say about you. Many overweight people get teased about their weight at school, at home, or at play. This is what causes the negative thoughts. After being told that “your too fat” or that “your too ugly”, you start to believe it. Once you believe you begin to tell yourself these exact same words. This is how depression begins to form. In order to avoid this you need to tell yourself that you are pretty. If you are not happy with your weight then eat healthy and work out every day. Low self-esteem issues realize that beautiful people think they are ugly. Learn how to smile, do things for yourself, exercise regularly, try something new every day to get a good solution for your problem. Feeling ugly is a big issue that a person can’t face to others there is many ways that you can deal with your low self-esteem and get a solution to it. Learning to deal with self-teem issues it could be hard and difficult to process. Feeling ugly it might be a sigh of depression. Taking care of yourself and changing your routines may help and be beneficial with dealing with depression and feeling ugly. Do things for you that are important to get a good self-esteem and be more motivated to feel beautiful. Exercise regularly helps you to get in shape and get a better body image. Exercise also reduce stress, high blood pressure and make you feel good about yourself. Try something new. Get a new haircut, a new wardrobe or a new manicure. Do things to make feel good about you. Trying new things can give you a new outlook on your life and looks. This would help a lot to deal with feeling ugly about you. There are many alternatives which you can take to build self-confidence. Which I feel is the main problem you are dealing with. For a start, one can begin by finding ways to increase self-confidence. For example, dressing sharp would affect how one feels about him/herself. In reality, as the editor, Pick The Brain puts it, “No one is more conscious of your appearance then you are” (2). So stop by your local shopping center to pick out great, professional clothing that will bring out the confidence inside you. To add on to this, setting aside time to have a decent workout will definitely help one with his/herself esteem. As the author Pick the Brain explains, “By working out, you improve your physical appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive” (2). Having this type of discipline will really help one out in everyday life. Most importantly it will bring up your confidence to help you deal with your situation at hand. Another way to raise your self-esteem is by changing the things you dislike about yourself. In order to stop feeling fat you are going to have to go on a diet and work out. In order to accomplish this you are going to set goals for yourself. Your first goal could be to go on a diet. Going on a diet does not mean starving yourself. A diet can simply be to eat healthy. Eating healthy is eating less junk food and more fruits and vegetables. At first it may be hard because you may experience some cravings for junk food, but after a while you will get used to it and will be easier. Your diet can consist of breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, diner, and a last snack. The snacks could be a salad, fruits, yogurt, or any other snack you enjoy, but it must be healthy. Your breakfast can consist of oatmeal, cereal, wheat bread, or a homemade smoothie. Lunch can be sandwiches, soup, chicken, or another healthy meal you may enjoy. Diner can be fish served with rice and steamed vegetables or chicken with smashed potatoes and corn. Your second goal can be to start working out. The workout routine does not have to be a killer workout, but it can start off small and begin to intensify as time progresses. For example, you can begin to work out by walking for half an hour followed by 5 sit ups and push-ups. Once that work out is mastered and seems too easy you can begin to power walk for half an hour followed by 10 sit ups and push-ups. To intensify this routine you can begin jogging for 10 minutes, then power walking 10 minutes, and then another 10 minutes of jogging. The number of the push-ups and sits ups can go up according to how challenging it can be to up. These two goals can help you lose weight so you can see yourself thinner and more beautiful. To conclude, by following these steps you could accomplish the body image you desire. Your motivation will help you accomplish your goal. Beyond that, by accomplishing your goals your self-esteem and self-confidence will rise. In order to accomplish your goals you must commit yourself, stick to your daily routine and avoid distraction. Try to improve yourself in every way possible. By dressing better and getting a new look will help you boost your self-confidence. Changing your diet will help you lose the pounds you want to get rid of. But always remember that just by being a girl you are already beautiful. Keep in mind that what really matters is the heart not the looks.
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (17 May 2011):
 Mostly good advice down there, but let me go over some quick tips that usually yield good results -
1. Eat less bread. If you must, eat whole wheat
2. Try to stick to home-cooked food. Avoid junk food completely
3. If you like sweets, try baking at home rather than buying from outside.
4. Walk half-an-hour (not too brisk, just walk) after lunch and dinner.
5. Drink more water. Avoid juices and drinks containing presevatives.
6. Cut down tea/coffee intake. Sugar-free doesn't really help, better to have one cup of tea with sugar than 3 cups with so-called sugar-substititutes.
7. Eat two morsels less at every meal
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (17 May 2011):
 and i forgot to mention VERY IMPORTANT do not starve/fast/eat too few calories because all that will achieve is to slow your metabolism WAY DOWN and you will just hold onto fat as your body's way of conserving energy
x
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (16 May 2011):
hi
the good news is that at your age you should find it quite easy to lose weight, as we get older the harder it gets so so it NOW.
sweet things: the more you have the more you want. this is because of the way that carbs mess about with our blood sugar levels and make us crave for more.
if chocolate is the thing that ruins your efforts to diet - totally cut it out for three weeks and i guarantee you will lose the cravings for it.
just don't buy naughty things to eat. don't have them in the house so you won't be tempted if you are bored and feeling nibbly. if you live with your parents still ask them to not buy fattening food or at least only buy enough for themselves if they want it and to not include you when they are buying biscuits/crisps etc
get a hobby that you can do while you are at home, even getting into a good book will keep your mind off food.
make sure you drink plenty of water. the brain is not very good at telling the difference between hunger and thirst so often when we think we want food, it is just coz we are thirsty.
eat slowly. it takes the brain about 15 mins to get the message that the stomach is full. also taking your time and really tasting your food will help you to be satisfied with it.
avoid white bread, white pasta, white rice - all these things are available as brown wholemeal which is better for you coz carbs will make you hungrier (they stimulate our insulin - the 'hunger hormone') so AVOID WHITE.
find some sort of exercise that you enjoy - the gym isn't everyones thing. brisk walking is as good as running for weight loss apparently. if you walk 4 miles per day for 2 months you will lose that 2 stone (if you eat sensibly too)
a tip that i picked up from reading 'i can make you thin' by paul mckenna (he is a hypnotist and a mind programming CD is included with the book) is this... think about your favourite food,the one that always breaks your diet, on a plate but mixed in with it is something that you would NEVER eat...
this is horrible but this is what i thought of - crisps on a plate with HAIRS mixed in with them! urrgh makes me feel sick every time i think of eating crisps!
you can recall this thought every time you fancy eating that food that you know you shouldn't and it should put you off, if worked for me anyway
start a food diary, write everything you eat and drink and this may help you make better choices with food too.
if you have a bad day where you have given in to your sweet tooth or not exercised, don't feel bad and give up - just start again the next day
x
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A
female
reader, tickledpink +, writes (16 May 2011):
First off, the only person you should lose weight for - if you do lose weight - is for you. Not for anyone else. Your boyfriend is with you now and obviously likes you for who you are and what you are.As far as diet plans etc go, the thing with diets - no matter which one you try - is you actually have to want to do it - deciding that makes the whole thing much easier.I'm tall - 6ft - and at Christmas I weighed 14st10 and wore a size 16, but I got away with it because I'm tall. I went to work one day just before Christmas and my usual work trousers were too tight. I had to put on an old pair of size 18's lurking in the wardrobe. That was it. All the motivation I needed, I did not want to ever have to wear those fat trousers again. I started walking then running. I love sweet food and I'm a compulsive baker. So I didn't stop it altogether, but I did cut it down. As soon as you tell your body you can't have something, thats what you will crave. So don't go cold turkey. Everytime I feel myself slacking with the exercise or the sweet treats and "rewarding" myself for doing something start to build up, I go put on those trousers and I remember how I felt that morning walking into work feeling like everyone knew I was wearing size 18 trousers.If I wanted to eat something, I would first have a drink of water. A lot of what we perceive hunger to be is thirst. If I was hungry 20 mins later I would have something to eat.Now I'm 10st9 and wearing a size 10. Honestly I've never felt better.Why don't you try slimming world? I've had a lot of friends with AMAZING results on it, never tried it myself but only heard good things.Good luck! But remember, do it for yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2011): Just think, 'It's just food.' Once it's eaten, you've forgotten about it... but your body hasn't. You have to have self control, which is hard, but once you've got it it stays. One thing i do is i just don't buy bad food, therefore it's not in the house so i don't eat it. Another is make bowls of fruit or veg and put them in the fridge ready for you to snack on when you get peckish. I have a sweet tooth too, but i eat sweet fruit instead which can satisfy it. Good ones are berries, (strawberries or raspberries) another is pineapple. Another tip i have is instead of eating 3 big meals a day, eat 6 small ones, split them up, this way you'll get use to small portions and get fuller quicker and not get as bloated when you do eat. Also your bodies metabolism will speed up which is always a good thing!Exercise is also very important! But it's actually doing it which is the problem, you have to have the drive to get up and do it. Go out and get some gym gear and join a gym or exercise classes and go in the mornings before eating, then when you get home have a slice of wholemeal toast with peanut butter on top (or something not too sweet.) You have to try and stay away from sweet food for a while, or minimise it, to overcome the cravings. Don't completely cut them out though otherwise if you do ever have anything remotely sweet you won't be able to stop!Just remember, the cravings are all in your head, you do have control over them! Think about the rewards that will come from losing weight. But do it sensibly, you don't want to be a skinny minnie!
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A
female
reader, Gherkinsaregrim  +, writes (16 May 2011):
Normally I find looking at how hot some skinny people are helps me stick to my diet!!
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