A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating a guy that I met on-line for about 11 months. We've seen each other at least once a month for a week at a time. He is in love with me. I am not. Because he is so wonderful I keep trying, but I think the problem is either a lack of chemistry/romance or my attraction to him. I feel paralyzed with indecisiveness. On one hand I'm afraid of ending things because we are so compatible. On the other, I'm afraid to stay in it and end up feeling like I "settled" in some way. What to do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Butterflyfly  +, writes (4 August 2007):
 I know what you mean, and it depends wether you will be happy with the emotional comfort he offers you. if you break up you might 'realise' out of a sudden the relationship with him was good, but if you stay and are not fully convinced you want him, then that's not fair on both of you. I wonder wether the fact that you're not inlove with him is only a defensive attitude from your side, i say this because you mention you're afraid to end things because you;re so compatible. Atthe end of the day nobody can force you or rush you to do things and as long as you are honest with him he hsuld hear you and understand what you are tellin ghim. my opinion is to take things at your pace and always be blunt and honest with him. give yourself time to understand your feelings. maybe you guys shuld take a break and see how you feel after that.
A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (4 August 2007):
 What do you want? You know what's best for you more than anyone. Decide, and then do it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): It's not fair for him if you stay with him even though you don't love him. Eventually you're going to relize that you can't keep up this relationship anymore because you don't feel for him in that way. Then it will be worse for him if he grows more in love with in this time you are together, that you wouldn't even be together if you just told him how you felt. And when you are friends you will know if it feels good as friends or if you can't be without him.
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A
female
reader, edsbabygirl +, writes (3 August 2007):
 Be completely honest with him and he will understand. Tell him that you do not love him. You can't be with someone you don't love, friends is a great title to!
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