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age
36-40,
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writes: I am on deployment with the Marines right now and right before i left to go on deployment i cheated on my fiancee, i feel terrible and have done everything i can think of her to let her know that i will never do that again, i lied to her during our relationship and she feels as if she doesnt know who i am or if she can even believe me, i feel terrible, i went home before i went on deployment and we hung out every single day and i have changed my ways, stopped drinking, smoking and being the creep i use to be. i am so in love with this girl and before i left she told me so many things about how she wants to see me change and that i dont know how much her heart wants to see me as a new person but her mind doesnt think i can change, she also told me things about dont give up on something you cant go a day without thinking about, i am almost a month and a half into the deployment and where she was telling me she thought i was going to give up on her it know seems that she is giving up on me. i love her more than the world and i have sent her gifts and emailed her everyday and told her i am never going to give up on her because she is the love of my life, i email and send her text messages through my email as much as i can, but she is not telling me i am overwhelming her, i dont want to give up on her but the last thing in the world would be me to give up on her, i tried to tell her that i think we should talk less and it went one day and she emailed me and told me i was selfish for not asking her what she thought about that and told me if i want to build her trust that we should talk, i dont want her to give up on me, even though i dont know if i even have a chance. can someone help me and tell me what i should do to not overwhelm her and still have her talk to me? she doesnt email me back all she does it respond to my text messages through email. I love her so much and me giving up on her is not an option, i know she is the one for me.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2008): "People who are cheated on receive an equal amount of trauma as a rape victim."
Advice from the poster who said this should not be taken. Being cheated is by far a less traumatic experience. And how dare this idiot belittle that.
By cheating what you did is obliterate the trust. You must face up to what made you cheat in the first place and work on a way to overcome this short-coming.
Lesser people have regained trust and gotten a relationship back on track, but it is going to take a lot more than words and gifts, you are going to have to prove to her that you can be trusted again. This doesn't mean becoming her slave, but it does mean you will have to go without sex or intimacy for a while.
You think War is bad? Try trudging though the shit you are going to have to, both of you, if you are going to salvage this relationship at all.
Flynn 24
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (10 June 2008):
 When you cheated, you were selfish. How do you think that makes her feel. It's not just about the act. It's about how they act affects the other. I bet she feels inadequate. Unattractive to you. You say different, but then going through her head is, "if he really loved me, he wouldn't have done it in the first place."
People who are cheated on receive an equal amount of trauma as a rape victim.
Knowing your sorry for your actions. You need to tap more into knowing how she must feel, and being remoursefull for causing her to feel the way she does. Remember it's now up to her. You were the "creep" so it's up to her to decide whether or not to give the "creep" another chance.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, LostInLoveNy +, writes (10 June 2008):
yoo man you got your self into some real trouble haven't you?.... look man talk to her everyday the way you have been doing stay off the topic about how you need her and never going to give up on her she knows....everytime you say she probroally remembers why you say it you know!. but just be real with and remember actions speak louder then words....why tell how much you love her and cant be with out her rather then show her....anyway man keep me posted and good luck to you in the marines and with your fiance...
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