A
male
age
41-50,
*eal Love 32
writes:OMG! I forgot how to dateOk so I lost a good relationship. Now I want to start meeting guys. The thing is I think I forgot how to date. It scares me I a always looking at myself trying to see is this what guys like (hairstyles, certain attire, ect.) I have not been out in a while so I am not sure what the dating scene is like. I really what a quality gay guy I just dont know where to go. I dont like that online thing cause you just never know what you really a getting. My question is can anyone please help me with some dating tips, like what to talk about, or where to go.Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): did you not keep a circle of gay friends even when you were in a relationship? Or were you under virtual house arrest at home? Or has the scene changed so muchwhile you were away? A bad relationship sometimes cuts us off from others and we lose part of our identity and our confidence in our ability to make things happen. And before you just start dating anyone who offers themselves up to you, do some things that give you outlets for your energy and curiosity. It will also give more clues to who you really are once they learn what activities you are involved in. If you have so lost the connection with your community then i think it might be good to establish some new links with the community first. Does your community have a community garden you could join? Where people grow their own vegetables on community land? Great opportunity to do something physical and get noticed too. If you can join a gym - many gay guys at the gym. Take up bicycle riding, kit yourself in all the gear for riding. Guys look very fetching in bicycle riding gear. Ask the place where you buy your bicycle gear where is the nearest bicycle club you can join. If you can, buy a dog at the pound and start walking your dog at the park and attend obedience classes with the dog. If you work all day this may not be an option. But gay guys with their own dogs that they walk daily are everywhere. Otherwise just go for a daily walk to the park where you see the most dogs being walked each morning. Afterwards they often head off to an open air dog friendly cafe for coffee - find that place and go for coffee there in mornings occasionally, even without a dog. Find out what else is on in your area - community events - and attend the ones that interest you. Join the local library and find out what events they are putting on. You might enjoy the activities and meet some lovely gay guys. Volunteer to do some unpaid work at a mens shelter. You are sure to meet some other gay volunteers. And join a group involved i something you like.
A
female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1 +, writes (5 November 2010):
That is hard. I would say get out and go to a number of things in your area. Google events in (whatever city you live in) and check it out. Be yourself, I suppose.
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