A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I have a couple of issues here. 1: my fiance is 9 years older than me. I'm 29 he is 38. He has 2 grown kids 18 year old boy and 20 year old girl who is married and 9 months pregnant. I have never been married(neither has he) and I have no kids. He has not only 2 kids but a grandchild on the way. Is it wrong that I'm uncomfortabel about this? I'm having doubts because me and his daughter AND his mother do not get along, and me and him think diffrently about a lot of things and we always argue.2: I love him but I am not "in love" with him,there's no passion but I feel so comfortable and secure with him and he does treat me like a queen. I know for sure I should not o through with this marriage which is in 8months if I'm having doubts. Is it wrong to be with a man that I'm not opassionately in love with, but I'm with because I love and and trust him and am comfortable with him and know he would never cheat and is very mature and ready for a life with me so I should just settle? Or should I leave? I just feel I'm never going to find anyone as good of a guy he is. I don't cheat or nothing like that, but I just want that "in love" feeling. I don't have that feeling with him that I've had with past lovers but they ended up being cheaters :( HELP!
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (26 March 2011):
 Nine years is nothing! I've seen happy couples on here who have 15-17-20 year age differences. However, if you're not in love, you should set him free. From what you've described, he sounds like an absolute keeper, which I don't hear a lot about on here. Many women would scream for a guy like you have, and he's only 38, not 78! Not only that, but he's not screwing around with telling you he's the perennial bachelor, meaning his intentions are that he is in love with you and doesn't play games.You should let him go if you decide you're not in love with him, but make sure it's the right decision, because there's no going back from breaking up. You permanently mess up a good thing. However, if you're not in love, let him be someone else's treasure.
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