A
female
age
41-50,
*izzlala3
writes:I need help! I have fallen for the most amazing guy. He is beautiful, compassionate, caring, smart, funny, emotional, etc... We have been dating for about a month which is so soon. I have already fallen for him. I am 24 and he is 42. I have no worries about the age at all but he was divorced three years ago and just broke up with a woman he was ONLY dating for a year. He said the reason why they didn't work was because he wanted more and she didn't. She couldn't get past her horrible relationships and always accussed him of cheating because he is a DJ at a bar and works Monday through Thursday from 9pm till 2pm. He has another job as well but his passion is music. When he asked her if they could be more she turned him down. As I was at his house, he admitted to me that he loved her and still has feelings for her. Automatically I felt so crushed because I don't want to be another rebound girl or just someone to get his mind off the other girl. He invites me over to the bar all the time and introduces me to EVERYONE and they all love me and tell him that I am amazing and that he needs someone like me. To make the story short, he hasn't texted me as much and we were to go out tonight and said, "Hi hun, I hate to bring you bad news but I will have the girls later, so I can't go out tonight, I'm sorry, Lunch Next weekend?" Originally yesterday he texted me that he couldn't go out until after 8:30pm cause he had his girls. So what did he mean by later? 10pm or overnight? This is not the weekend he get's his girls and he knows that I try hard to see him an that I wouldn't mind seeing him after even 11. I do work 16 hours on saturday and sunday's. Which today is Friday. Am I just overreacting, cause I'm afraid of being hurt AGAIN or should I be concerned since he told me he had feelings for his other friend? HELP
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broke up, crush, divorce, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mizzlala3 +, writes (9 March 2008):
mizzlala3 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTHANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR HELP! I appreciate it much and has helped me! Thanks again!
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (8 March 2008):
 You have possibly been coming on a little too strong, seeming a bit "needy" to him. That possibly makes him feel that he has "got you under his thumb," so to speak. For some guys, some degree of "chase" keeps them interested. Other men are different, and would better respond to you, but he may need a challenge.
So consider cooling it a bit. Less texting for awhile, and see if he resumes his pursuit for you. I would.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008): Hi Hunny
Take it slow and try not to panic, Yes he still has feeling for his ex but feeling dont go away just like that sweetheart and it takes time. He is probably taking things slow as the relationship has not long ended and thats not a bad thing sweetheart...A D.J oooooooh there the best my fellas a D.J and makes his own music and if your fella is anything like mine music is his passion..Dont read to deeply into this and the next time you do see him have fun and when you get a chance just say you understand how hard it is for him with the last relationship and it takes time to heal, But you would like him to be honest that if in the future he feels he cant move on yet he tells you so you no were you stand, in a very matter of fact way hunny...So you are not worried and he knows you need to be spoken the truth no matter what, Keep it cool even though you have fallen hun and see what happens panic and worry and txt to much and it may scare him away after the previous relationship being so close for him, Its hard I no but its better to hold back and keep him than go to deep and loose him sweetheart TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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