A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey I'm a 17 year old boy from Australia and I have a problem.It's pretty strange I guessI see teenage girls walking down the street in mini skirts and their bodies hanging out which is their choice I guess but thats not the problem. I see older men looking and perving on them and it REALLY disturbs me, like not just a little bit, like ALOT.I don't see why they should be looking at teenage girls or why girls don't care they are being perved on.It really stresses me out seeing this and I've found myself not going to shopping centers or into the city because I can't focus on what I'm doing and can only focus on these older men looking at these teenage girls and thinking about what they must be thinking which makes me sick and angry.I know it sounds like a silly problem but I really don't want to notice stuff like this because it stresses me out and ruins my day, has anyone got any tips to help me get over this problem??Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah I understand I'm just going to try to block the thought of it out.
Thanks :)
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (29 November 2010):
 Unless you move to a country where all the women wear burkas I guess you'll just have to accept this behavior. Why not try to focus on a problem you can actually do something about?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand that guys can't control their urges or what ever..
But it's not right to be in your 40's and watching teenage girls walk around, they should think about it in private but they shouldn't go looking at girls younger then half their age. I guess heaps of people will disagree but personaly I think it's wrong.
Thanks for all your feed back for many kind words :)
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (29 November 2010):
 Seriously people? It's that bad for someone to look at someone else? Really? WTF is going wrong with the world.
I agree that comments, or leering after them (maybe drooling) is uncalled for, but give me a break! All this outrage because an older guy checks out a girl?!? Really? I guess guys should just cut their eyes out of their head when they hit 25 because we're not allowed to look at women anymore.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010): You're absolutely right, it is sickening to see much older men (whether 40 or whatever) drooling over much younger girls. There are a lot of sick perverts out there.
You're awesome to have good morals, and notice something like that at such a young age. We need more people like you in the world!! I think you are a genius.
Please do not look at your reaction to old pervs looking at young girls as a problem. I would slowly try to not let it bother me, or ruin my day--when you witness the disgusting event, and start to react, immediately tell yourself to stop the bad feelings. Instead, put that reaction to positive use such as volunteer at a security, or law enforcement office, or an agency that helps victims, etc.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010): I agree, it's very gross and wrong. those men shouldn't be watching, and the girls shouldn't be hanging out of their clothes. I really don't know the answer to your question though. sorry :(
Abby 15
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A
female
reader, Supple +, writes (25 November 2010):
Yeah I totally agree with you. I swear I am so like you, it freaks me out when old man look at girls in that way.That is why I never wear anything that is to open because I feel funny, you know people is going to look. The thing is I guess girls does it on purpose, they want to look good and sexy for boys to look at them and not older men. Though I believe they do not care. I guess the girls are asking for it you know, they know what they are wearing and they wear it on purpose. Men and men, boy are boys, and girls are girls you can't change them you know. Men have eyes and they can look where ever they want and so can everybody else. So if girls like the attention of people looking at them then they are okay with it. They are actually asking for old men to look at them.
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female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (25 November 2010):
 No girl should have to put up with disgusting old men. There is no justification for it.
Want my honest opinion? CALL THEM OUT ON IT. Seriously, if you walk past a creeper doing that, make a comment, embarrass him.
Someone needs to actually stand up for this.
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (25 November 2010):
 Young women are the most objectified demographic there is, regardless of how they dress and regardless of their culture. Always have been, always will be. In fact, my experiences are very similar to smiliek's; I'm 23, don't dress to show anything off, yet still get disgusting comments from creepy men. It's unavoidable, especially considering the way young women are portrayed in media and everything else, which tends to overzealously push the idea that only youth is sexy. This isn't going to change any time soon, which is why it'd be best to come to terms with it and not let it interfere with your daily life. However, honestly, I wish more men felt the way you do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2010): I agree it's pretty revolting seeing old men learing at young girls. It's good that you have such a strong opinion and good morals. I wouldn't let it get in the way of your daily life though, if you can help it. Unless these old guys are doing more than looking i would just try and turn a blind eye towards it.
Think of it as a positive thing. If it is affecting you this much then it shows you have a lot of respect for women. You'll make some girl very happy!
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A
female
reader, alice0110  +, writes (24 November 2010):
i think its seriously sweet that you feel this way and it just shows that you are a genuinley caring person. although i dont think you should let it stop you going into shopping centres and things. try to find other things to take your mind off it
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2010): You are right its horrible but unfortunately a lot of young girls dont realise the effect they have on men and so they follow fashions and trends and then wonder why old men are drooling over them all the time.
I think you just need to put it out of your mind and be glad that you are not like that.
From my teens onwards I, and many other women have had to put up with perverted old men and its part of life. If we dont want to be looked at we know how to dress and it wont happen. The responsibility lies with the girls to some extent its just ashame some men are so blantantly badly behaved and cant help themselves. You have to feel sorry for them really.
Same thing goes on in Turkey. Older women letch and seduce younger guys and basically buy their company. Middle aged women go to the Gambia looking for fit young men in their late teens and 20's for their firm bodies and nights of sex.
I think you have to put it out of your mind and just be glad that you are different from these men...
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A
female
reader, smiliek +, writes (24 November 2010):
 I agree. It creeps me out when old men stare at me (im in my 20's) and i dont dress with anything 'hanging out'. I'm usually a jeans and tshirt kinda girl. At work (retail), i've had old guys that are at least 60 ask how much i'd cost and that kinda thing. Its gross and creepy. I also see old men looking at girls young enough to be their daughters or even granddaughters! But i guess, alot of guys look at young women. One day i wont be hearing smartarse comments as i wont look young and attractive anymore. And those silly girls who dress like that will one day grow up and realise that looks aren't everything, and if they want respect they start dressing differently. I just laugh at the comments guys make. Much as its kinda weird, they're generally kidding with the stupid remarks. And dirtball's right, guys dont suddenly find younger women unattractive once they're older, but it doesnt mean they're actually thinking of taking them to bed. I hope its more a look of 'wow she's nice. Reminds me of my gf/wife etc when we were young.' Dont let it stop you living your life. When you get a gf, those old men will be looking at you with a pretty young thing on your arm and remembering how it used to be for them.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (24 November 2010):
Just cause a guy is old, which is a relative term, (you may mean all of 40, ha ha) doesn't mean he's dead. Besides what guy checks out droopy old ladies?
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (24 November 2010):
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Wait till you're older.
Ok, old guys check out young girls for the same reason young guys do. Especially when they are showing off the goods. Something funny you may not realize is that some of those guys are probably disgusted by what they are seeing. Depending on their age, they probably view this level of exposure as very slutty and off putting.
Ultimately though, beauty is beauty and you don't stop appreciating it just because you get older. In fact one could argue that a kid couldn't possibly appreciate such a beauty properly because they lack the experience to do so.
You've got to learn to relax. There is nothing wrong with them looking. They have just as much a right as you do. And if a girl is showing off the goods, as men, it's nearly impossible not to notice. That's just how we're wired.
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