A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for almost 4 years...we have one child and another one on the way. We dates for a long time before we got married. Before I met him I knew another man. It was love at first sight for me. We never dated because it was never the right time. He had a gf or I had a bf or one of my friends was into him. I had been dating my husband for two years when we finally met up. I had never stopped thinking about him. We talked on and off for years until finally he asked me to come over. Five years of feelings boiled up and well...exactly what you think happened did. After a few months I tried to see where he stood...and he seemed very indifferent. So I swallowed my pride and told my husband (bf back then). He was very hurt but decided that we would stick it out. I found out a little later how much the other man liked me and how he felt that he could really love me. That hurt because I was still in love with him but I had already made my choice. And I couldn't hurt my husband again. Well it has been 5 years since all that... And I still think about that man. I am still in love with him. It doesn't matter what I do, he is always on my mind. More recently we were emailing but when he realzed that I couldn't do more than that he stopped emailing. I'm scared because if my marriage ends there are kids to think about and I wouldn't have anywhere to live. This is not a case of "I'll always wonder what might have been". I know what it could have been and I still want that. I just don't know where he stands now. I love my husband buy not anywhere close to how I love this other man. It's so different. And I feel like it's not fair to my husband. He doesn't have all of me and I don't think he ever will. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010): Without writing another saga...I can tell you that my husband doesn't exactly respect me. I even sought out professional help and my therapist even told me to leave him. My husband can be a real ass to me a lot of the time. I hate the situation I am on and have been contemplating divorce for a while. Buy like I said, I wouldn't have anywhere to go. And the other man is not as bad as he sounds. I realize how I made it sound. But the reason he stopped emailing wasn't because I could sleep with him hit because I couldn't even talk to him on the phone. And email wasn't enough for him. And I understand that. It's not fair to him that I can't give my all for him. He never made me do anything i didn't want to. He was completely respectful and a perfect gentleman. We have had feelings for each other spanning 10 years. If that's not a true love that stands the test of time I don't know what is.
A
female
reader, tjazzy  +, writes (27 March 2010):
The other guy doesn't love you. He only lusts after your body and will dump you like a rag when he gets bored (which won't take long) Your husband knows the meaning of true love. Turn all your attention to your husband, show him some respect and stop fantasising about some loser. You're actually married and not dating now ( in case you forgot)
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