A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I dated my first real love in high school for 2 years and we were madly in love. Had names for our future kids and talked to our parents about marriage. We broke up cuz his parents didn't approve of me. He latergot another girl pregnant and married.We lost contact cuz if that. A few years later we met up again and rekindle the romance. We did this on and off for years until I got married to who I thought was a wonderful man and had a son. He asking divorced and remarried again. 7 years later I went thro a horrible divorce and moved back to my hometown. He also moved back to my hometown with his new wife. As soon as he knew I was back in town and divorce, he came looking for me. We started to be "How friends with benefits" for over a year now. I know this is wrong cuz he is married but has no kids. He says he likes what u do for him. His wife never does what he likes in the bedroom, she don't clean (I have seen the house with my own eyes), they only have sex maybe once a month and he says she treats him like crap. I justwant to know if he is just using me or us there something deeper in all of the chaos? We understand eachothers needs and wants and we both been thro horrible divorces. What should I do to know how he grisly feels about me?
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broke up, divorce, friend with benefits Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIm trying not to make excuses for him or anything its just he told me they hardly have sex cuz she doesn't want to. He tried alot of things to make her interested in sex with him and she just don't want to. She has no medical or mental conditions. And when they r out in public they r not affectionate at all. I just wish I knew how he felt about me and his wife. I am more confused than ever. The sex is outstanding and after he gives so much affection to me. Is it real or am I just kidding myself?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIm trying not to
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (24 August 2011):
 If he really were that great of a guy, he would not have a sketchy past history and he would not be cheating on his wife.
He came looking for you to meet his needs that were not being met by his wife.
Did he get married to be in a relationship or did he hire a maid and sex servant? There may be a legit reason why she does not bother to do those things for him. If it is really that awful, why is he still there with her? He is still having sex with her, so she still plays a role in his life.
You get the leftovers.
If it was really meant to be with this man, it would have happened a long time ago. Right now, both of you are just living in the past of teenage lust.
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A
female
reader, Trinklett  +, writes (24 August 2011):
 I'll say he's confused and as a grown man should be able to make up he's mind. How long will you play the 2nd fiddle. If you really meant that much to him back in time he should take a decision on you. He's married and having you by the side its a win - win situation for him and the exact opposite for you. Tell him to straighten himself out and look for you if he's genuinely interested
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