A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:OH GOD! been worrying about things turning physical with my new girlfriend and tonight they did... but I couldn't get 'aroused'. I got aroused a little then went down and she assumed that I had finished but I just couldn't keep it up! help! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe told me she's always had problems relaxing but has never felt so comfortable with someone sexually as me which makes me feel more pressured but i also don't want to break that feeling of comfort she has.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (6 November 2008):
 I know this is going to be hard to do but you need to stop thinking so much, and just start feeling. Don't think about what the next move is going to be or what you have to do or anything like that. Just be in the moment, just relax. There are some yoga techniques of breathing that you might investigate. Essentially, you close your eyes, and just experience each part of your body without thinking. So close your eyes, and with your eyes closed, focus on the tip of your nose. Feel the weight of your body on the chair, and then experience your feet on the ground. Breathe slowly and deeply to focus on just being in the moment. I'm giving you the amateur version of this, you might want to think about a class or you can read about it on line, but the idea is that you practice breathing when you're not in bed with her so that when you start to feel anxious you can calm yourself. You don't want to think, you just want to feel.
And I'm sure that she is very nervous herself. Remember that when you start to feel too nervous, OK?
Good luck, and remember that sex is a very intimate experience and even if it's not quote unquote perfect, it's a lovely way of showing her how much you care about her.
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A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (6 November 2008):
CALM DOWN. Worrying will make the whole situation worse. Make sure your comfortable with her first and try and stay calm. Theres nothing wrong with you, its just nerves.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (6 November 2008):
 Don't worry! Even if she knew, she wouldn't be worried about it! Most women don't expect for everything to go perfectly smoothly the first time. It's all a bit overwhelming! Chances are, the two of you just need more practice together, and if she liked you enough to be with you, she'll be back!!! The pressure of the first time will be off, and you will have better luck ~ and I'll bet she didn't think twice about it! Relax and enjoy yourself, I'm sure the next time, things will be better!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (6 November 2008):
 It was the "worrying" about it that set you up for a let-down. All psychological.
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