A
female
age
26-29,
*ewbie31
writes:Hey Guys, haven't been here since I was fifteen. Well recently I fell into a relationship with this guy who I had liked for a long time. I became his friend in AP calculus and eventually we hung out outside of school. For three months or so we became really great friends and could talk just about anything. But he still didn't see me in that way. Rather than be immature about it I decided that at least I have a new great friend. Then when I was finally trying to get over him I guess it clicked and he announced his feelings for me. We are now dating and everything is great, except for the fact that he is going to college two hours away. I'm still a senior in high school. A two hour drive is not an issue for me in the slightest, but it's the fact that for the first time in his life he will experience independence and I don't want him to be burdened by having me back home. We have decided to cool it until he adjusts to the lifestyle change college brings. So my remaining question is how deep should the break be? Like should we still text as friends (if that's even possible at this point) or should be cold turkey separate ourselves so he has absolutely no ties back home? Should he date, seeing as that is part of the college experience, and of course if he can date, is it okay if I do? The problem is he says he doesn't want to date, but that maybe he should loosen his obligations to me to give him room to make friends and get a hold of school work. So if we are both abstaining from other people and relationships, why bother with the break if he is still mentally tying himself down? I hope I gave you enough of an overview. Any advice would be appreciated and don't hesitate to ask for more details to give better advice! Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2013): Why cut things and go cold turkey just because he is now going to College?
You have both started something sweet, something you were both enjoying, so why not continue until IF and WHEN it becomes a problem, instead of cutting it all off because you "would be a burden"? Not if you are good for him? Not if he enjoys sharing his life experiences with you? Not if you have a good thing going.
Sure, the 2 hours will limit many things, but it's not impossible. Give it a try, perhaps a time line of a few months, and only if it's not working then re-evaluate and decide the future.
Just because he is in College does not mean he must do what all College guys do... not everybody is the same.
Good Luck
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