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Obsessed with a girl from college and letting other opportunities pass by...

Tagged as: Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 February 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 15 February 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I'm a male in his early 20's, and for a while I think I've been obsessed with a girl from college. She has a long term boyfriend, and the're both good for each other. I know it's best for me to just stay away and I have been, but It's not getting any easyer. I keep telling myself I don't have a chance, but I find myself hoping any way. I made a list of things I don't like about her, and it wasn't a big list! At this stage it's realy recking my head. It's been two years since this started, and I've past up lots of nice and good looking women since then, because i'm just so fixated I don't know what to do. Need help!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008):

Are you two friends? Does she seem to have feelings for you too? When I was in college I had the perfect boyfriend. I totally loved him and would never have cheated on him or left him for anyone, but there was this guy friend that I definitely had feelings for. I'm pretty sure he was in love with me because he left his long-term girlfriend after we became closer and people said you could tell by the way he looked at me he was in love. I felt awkward (intense feelings can be hard to deal with) and stopped talking to him. I thought about him, talked about him, daydreamed about him all the time, but like I said would never have left my boyfriend for anyone. Things didn't work out with me and my boy and I definitely wonder if something was supposed to happen with that guy and me. If you two are close friends, stay close because even though those two are good for eachother it may not work out. However, try not to wait around for her because it might make her feel awkward and stay away even if part of her feels it too. Also, it may never come about, so you need to keep your options open. Good luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008):

Wake up!!! This girl is happy with her boyf, you should find a girl for yourself and be happy too!!

You are wasting the best years of your life pining over this girl when nothing can come of it. College is a place where you meet loads of lovely girls and experience new things in life so start doing it!!

Go to different places and pubs/clubs that this girl won't be and take a chance with the next opportunity that comes along :)

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (14 February 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntWe should separate reality from fantasy.If we choose to live in fantasy , the world will pass us by.

Two years is a very long time and I think you should put that image of her into the back of your mind and let her remain there.

Go on living and take your chances whenever they come to you.

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A female reader, danielle_25 Korea - Republic of +, writes (14 February 2008):

danielle_25 agony auntThat is the part of being a teenager when they inlove, but mostly people here in the world experience what you did as now.So try what you think your hearth say.!!

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A female reader, fleita Singapore +, writes (14 February 2008):

fleita agony auntTry to keep yourself occupied like get involved in many activities, hang out with friends, pick up a new language, learn a new sport..etc. very soon, she'll be out of your mind. trust me. i've a major crush on somebody for almost 6 years and i'm getting over it! feelings will fade through time. stop telling yourself you're "obsessed" with her, she's just one of the crushes in your life. keep moving forward and you'll find someone better!

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A female reader, fleita Singapore +, writes (14 February 2008):

fleita agony auntTry to keep yourself occupied like get involved in many activities, hang out with friends, pick up a new language, learn a new sport..etc. very soon, she'll be out of your mind. trust me. i've a major crush on somebody for almost 6 years and i'm getting over it! feelings will fade through time. stop telling yourself you're "obsessed" with her, she's just one of the crushes in your life. keep moving forward and you'll find someone better!

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A female reader, didapoo United States +, writes (14 February 2008):

didapoo agony auntWell, two years is a long time to wait for someone, and if she doesnt see it that way, then, you are missing out on a life full of opportunities. Maybe you should focus on other things that you like for awhile, and let things unfold. Maybe someone has a secret eye on you?

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