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Obsessed or in love

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Question - (13 February 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 February 2008)
A female Canada age 30-35, *nna_McVann writes:

I've known a guy for about 9 years now, and I can't seem to get over the fact that I really do have feelings for him. He and I have been through a lot, he's even treated me like dirt. Not without reason, I will admit, I did do stupid things to deserve it, but he was always forgiving.

We've tried dating about..5 times now. He was always the one to end off the realtionship, but I just can't get over the fact that I still feel for him.

I've had other boyfriends, but they arn't as wonderful as my friend is.

I'm sorry, but what I am trying to get at is:

I'm doing everything I can just for him to look at me and think about trying a realtionship once more.

Am I obbessed? or am I in love?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008):

Hi Hunny,

It may be reversed then hunny, You are his first love maybe sweetheart, thats just a thought as to why he keeps coming back to you, Its hard to understand the way the heart works sometimes love TAKE CARE LOTS OF LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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A female reader, Anna_McVann Canada +, writes (13 February 2008):

Anna_McVann is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Anna_McVann agony auntIt was always him who wanted to try the realtionship thing again. Surpises me every time he brings it up..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008):

Hi Hunny

This sounds to me like first love, And first love is hard to get over even if you no it is not working love.

You are still in your ill say 20s as I dont no for sure, So you have known him since a child, I had a first love at 10, And I went out with him when we got older well quite alot older and he was a royal pain in the arse but I couldnt get it through to him that I loved him but it just was a no go relationship wise, To much had happened we new each other so well he used to live 2mins walk from my house and was so sweet, But in the relationship we got on each others nerves. Im not for one minute saying you get on his nerves love, its familiar and nice but if its anything like mine was then its hard work sometimes.

Yea I still have a soft spot for the daft arse and I always will. This is how you may feel hunny that soft spot and the memorys are over taking. If you have tryed so many times what would be different and in your heart can you see it working out, I wish it would for you as its lovely sweetheart, Maybe give it some time and see how things go, You may be better off having him as a friend for life hunny.

TAKE CARE WITH LOTS OF LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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A female reader, sugar_sugar United States +, writes (13 February 2008):

sugar_sugar agony auntDid you ever really try in these relationships, was your friend still on the scene at this time?

Do you actually love this guy for the qualities he possesses or do you love the idea of him?

Perhaps it is the fact he has always been unattainable? Even when you had him, he was the one to walk away, he was the one you couldn't quite keep.

Might I ask who rekindled things when you continued to date each other? Is it you who has been available for him whenever he wants to date you again?

These are just some questions for you to think about, not implying that is how things were.

If it hasn't worked the previous 5 times, why would this time be any different?

I wonder if you're giving other guys a chance to be as wonderful as your friend is?

Only you know whether you're obsessed or really in love..

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