A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: He's cheated 7 times we been togther almost for years. I love hime more then anything he cheated again but says now he will do whatever it takes to work on his bad ways including counciling. We have had trust issues because of his past and it made us both unhappy but he cheated cause of being unhappy and I didn't. He has no past history of cheating before this happened once he got dumped in his last relationship. His heart got broken. So now what do I do. Don't take him back or take some time off go to counciling to work on trust and friendship and see if things get better and go from there? I'm hurt and I need answers ASAP!!! We have history and I would fight with him after he messed up and it made things worse.......help me I need some answers.he says he wants me to spend the rest of his life with him and he knows now that we broke up and I kicked him out that he will never find anyone like me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): He says he'll never find anyone else like you after you kicked him out? Hey, that's HIS problem!
Look, if he cheated once and begged you to forgive him and take him back, you MIGHT consider it. But twice? Let alone seven times? NO, SIR!
He just wants his own way, and if you are foolish enough to give him yet another chance, he'll think he's home free and can do anything he pleases. The counselling idea will go right out the window.
I'm in agreement with the other two aunts on this one!
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (21 September 2007):
If he is serious about changing, he has to do it on his own WIHTOUT you there. THen you know it is for real. If he can only change with you around...it is not real change, and he will just resent you for it.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): Well he might think he loves you but that is a pretty shitty thing to do to someone you "love." This guy has got a lot of growing up to do. And I don't believe people change. In fact, as they get older their habits become worse. I am certain that he is not going to change. I mean 7 times? To be honest, 1 times is too many times for me. A good guy worth your time wouldn't even cheat on you once. That's the truth.
I wouldn't forgive him if you paid me to. I would rather eat shit than forgive someone who cheated on me. But I am very proud. I was dating a guy once who told me that he liked me more than the rest of his lady friends. This was all news to me. I thought we were exclusive. So without hesitating I just grabbed my purse and said "oh ok. Well excuse me. I have a party to go to." He never heard from me again. So what? So I don't have him anymore in my life? Big deal! He was an utter jerk. I was lucky to not have him anymore in my life. And I walked out of there with all of my dignity in tact.
So be strong. Who needs this guy? He has been such a jerk to you and he is not going to change. So don't fool yourself. You are so young. There are so many cool, cute, good guys out there who would love to date you and treat you good. I would just take this relationship as an experience, lesson learned, and just move on. So just let him regret it all he wants. That's not your problem. He deserves to be upset and regret it. So don't give him anymore than what he deserves.
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A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (20 September 2007):
so you were the lucky girl who decided to cheat on.. not once but 7 times. you take him back now and he will have a hold over you forever because he will walk all over you time and again and you will keep beleiving his lies.
you will never be able to trust this guy, you'll be worrying about where he is when you're not together and the pressure and strain on the relationship will not be worth it.
once is a mistake, twice is stupid, 7 times = love rat.
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