A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys. I'm a twenty year old girl and I really like this guy who is in his 30's (so much so that I think I love him). I've always liked older men; it's just who I am. Anyway, I have known this guy for three years now and when we first met we hit it off really well and saw each other for a few months until it turned out he actually had a girlfriend. As soon as I found out I finished it and eventually found a different boyfriend. He became single after a few months and we remained good friends. Anyway recently I have become single again due to differences in what we wanted from life and this other guy is also single. On a night out last week I bumped into this guy and we had a great night with him buying me drinks all night and staying by my side all night with his arm around me. He said he was single now and I told him I am. He wanted me to go back to his place that night but I couldn't because I was staying at a friends house and didn't want to ditch her. The next day he told me he likes me but is worried about upsetting my ex if we got together again. What can I do to make him want me? I really like this guy and he makes me feel so happy. We always have a great laugh together and have similar interests. Should I leave it a few months to let the dust settle on my previous relationship? Sorry it was a long explanation.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (3 October 2012):
 you said "(we) saw each other for a few months until it turned out he actually had a girlfriend."
sounds like he's interested anyway but my question to you is this:
if he CHEATED on a GIRLFRIEND before... what are you interested in him for? for fun and games then just tell him you wanna play with him....
IF you think you want a real relationship with him then you need to think about this
1. he's using your EX as an excuse to not get involved...that alone is weird to me, he's an EX right?
2. he has a HISTORY of CHEATING on his girlfriend...will you ever trust him?
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 October 2012):
 Let's address: "What can I do to make him want me?"
All you have to do to make a guy want you is to give him the slightest hint that you are prepared to put out for him..... Honestly, that's all it takes....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, snowland candy +, writes (2 October 2012):
ALL SIGNS POINT TO YES!!That there is a future that is.I was in the same predicament years ago with a guy who was also older. (I know, they rock!:)anyways, he has showed the interest that he wants to be with you, but the ex thing will be an issue only if you make one out of it.Keep them completely separate, and go out with this guy as much as possible.Little drinks and sharing laughs is the best way to start out slowly. Go out more, and do the tiniest things with him. Even start a phone date where you set a specific time each week to talk. You will find that he will burst out with his feelings at the most surprising time, he obviously likes you a lot. Let him know that the ex completely gone and make sure to not answer the phone around the new guy if the ex is calling, or bring him up ever if its not asked,.let your friends and other company that you keep to never mention your ex around this great guy too, those little slips might get him thinking in the wrong direction.You will find that after spending time with you and knowing its safe to do so will get him closer. Good luck, and remember that although love can happen overnight, it takes time to embrace it.xx
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (2 October 2012):
 It sounds like he already wants you. Just level with him what your feelings for him are, and make sure you have zero contact with your ex. It won't matter if your ex is upset if he is out of your life. If you're keeping your ex in your life, you have a problem.
Leave it a few months if you feel that you aren't ready for a relationship. Otherwise, tell him you're interested in dating and not just hooking up, and see what he thinks.
Sometimes, the best way is the direct way. he already likes you. It's up to you to define which direction you're hoping that the two of you go in. It's a risk, but it beats trying tricks and emotional machinations every time.
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