A ,
anonymous
writes: My fiancee got promoted at work just after Christmas and since then our sex life has declined considerably. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for her that she got promoted, but now we only have sex once a week at the weekend and it seems rushed. We used to have foreplay and everything but now it seems she wants it over as quickly as possible. I've tried to talk to her about it but she says she's tired after work and hasn't got the energy for sex. She just sits there on the couch watching the TV and hardly speaks. \I don't want to sound selfish but it's starting to frustrate me. I've read about people with similar problems and the reply is usually 'make a special evening after work and have a romantic meal' but when I've mentioned it its always "I'm too tired". I need help!
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (5 April 2005):
I think you need to explain to her how important this is to you. You aren't being selfish, it is perfectly normal to want and expect intimacy that is pleasurable with the one that you love.Express to her how this is making you feel but that you don't wish to pressurise her as you understand the strain she is under with work. Say how you miss what you used to do. Try to discover if it is only work that is making her reluctant for sex and not other problems that could be hormonal or physical. Ask her what she would like you to do for her. Remember that other displays of affection are important too. She does need to understand that for your relationship to work, there has to be effort on both sides. Otherwise, resentment builds and it simply falls apart. I'm not saying you should issue an ultimatum but make it clear to her how you feel.I really hope this helps.
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