| A
male
,
*loke
writes: It's a mad situation... I was with a fantastic young lady called Miss X (now 35) for three years, we got on brilliantly, I (now aged 43) bought a house so we could be together, it was just great. There was a problem though, I didn't get on with her son (aged 7)and this caused some friction. Eventually Miss X decided to dump me back last September. We carried-on seeing each other for a while, but then I got properly dumped just before Christmas. I met someone else, Miss Y (now aged 41), she's very unlike my previous partner but satisfies the "boring" side of my nature whereas the previous partner satisfied the "sensual" side. We have since got engaged. The trouble is that Miss X wants me back and I want her back too, we've made peace and realise that we can't live without each other. Should I break-off my engagement with Miss Y and return to Miss X or should I stick with Miss Y - or should I urgently emigrate?
View related questions:
christmas, engaged Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Bloke +, writes (13 July 2005):
I am the one who asked the question! Everything I've read in the answers is right and incredibly perceptive too - how you can work all that out from a vague question just highlights the differences between how men and women think.I suppose the main problem I have is that I don't want to hurt Miss X by saying we're not going to start-up again. I've analysed how I feel in depth, I've even written down a list as suggested and I know that the sensible thing is to stay with Miss Y, we are a very good couple and the only area were there are problems (minor ones)is sex - but this is only because I have been spoilt in the past by Miss X.Thank-you girls, you really have been a great help! X
A
reader, becky05 +, writes (12 July 2005):
Do you think that you will get on any better with Miss X's son now than you did then? probably not.You sound unsure about Miss Y also.I think it would be best if you forgot both of these women until you decide what it is you really want.
...............................
A
female
reader, orchidblossom +, writes (12 July 2005):
I think the important question you want to ask yourself is: who do you love? You can love both, but who do you truley and deeply love? Who do you imagine yourself growing old with? I think that if you truley loved Miss Y, then you wouldn't be pondering about Miss X! Miss X is still strong in your mind- but make sure you love her for all the right reasons (not just for the sex).
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2005): Too bad you couldn't combine the two of them and then you'd have a perfect woman. I would go with Miss Y because it sounds like she has the intellect and personality. As for the sensual side..you two can have fun exploring that together and learning new tricks. In the end..when you age and sex isn't such a big deal anymore...what will keep you happiest is a decent conversation with a nice, bright, thoughful woman.
Sex is important but it shouldn't become a necessity and the only reason for you to be close to your partner. A relationship can flourish only if it involves mutual understanding and faith from both the partners.
Sex is also necessary as it helps strengthen the ties and helps you get closer to each other. But, realistically, its not a physical relationship but an emotional relationship which is based on trust, that lasts longer and stands strong in testing times. Moreover, when you're old, then you won't get the urge or desire to have sex, it will be the strength of deep love, trust and respect that help keep the bond together.
Sounds like you love Miss Y but maybe are just "lusting" after Miss X. Just my opinion...take it or leave it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Louiser4you +, writes (11 July 2005):
Emigrate!!!!! lol!!!! Look i may not know a lot seen as im only 14. but, think about who would make you happier inside and make you feel wanted and comfortable. Write a list of each miss y and miss x and see what they're differences are and who seems to be more practical and real. If theres one thing i have learnt about life so far is that its not a fairy tale and we need to think realisticly. What hapens if she blows you off again ? is she likely to do that think about the variable personalitys they have and try to come to terms with who is much more suitable for you. some people say follow your heart but sometimes it just cannot be the way.
...............................
|
