A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So....... Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a 4 months. Its not long but it feels like forever to me. Unfortunately recently I have developed feelings for another guy. My sister and i made a list of pros and cons and my boyfriend had so many more cons than the guy I recently started to like. And I'm so confused. The guy I've just began to like also likes me back and told me straight up where as my boyfriend had his friends do it. What am I supposed to do?? I like them both a lot but just cant choose. Im leaning towards the new guy but I dont want to and want to at the same time. Help me please! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (21 January 2015):
 You're only 4 months in and already straying? I can't imagine there's much of a future. Obviously, you're just not that in to him. Picking between the two makes it sound as if you feel entitled to them both, whichever you decide. But you are not. Your boyfriend is entitled to respect and a girl who is committed fully. You should go ahead and cut that line. It can only get worse from here. How you proceed with different men will then be your freedom.
~Sy
A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (21 January 2015):
 It's obvious that you're not happy with your current boyfriend, so you need to end things with him if you don't feel the issues are things that can be worked out.
Then, and only then, should you consider having another relationship.
A word of warning though: this other guy said he really liked you when you were already in a relationship with someone else. He probably doesn't have many scruples so may not be someone you can trust. Someone with integrity would not make such a comment without first finding out if you were single, and if you weren't single would keep the comment to himself.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 January 2015):
 I agree that no paper or analysis can compete with the knowledge that you were with the current bf but still managed to find and be attracted to some other man.
this alone says that the current relationship is not a good one.
If you have feelings for this other guy.. then you do your boyfriend a disservice by staying with him. He clearly does not meet your needs/requirements.
EVEN if you don't start dating the new guy consider ending it with the current boyfriend who's list of CONS is longer than his list of PROS
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 January 2015):
 SWOT "analysis" or not, IF you had really LIKED your BF, I don't think you would have fallen for someone so easily after ONLY 4 months with your BF.
You should still be in the "OMGosh he is amazeballs" period, on the getting to know you phase. Instead... you meet someone else and starts to bond, with no consideration for the fact that YOU are in a relationship. However, it's NOT uncommon for people to find people who have JUST started to date (someone else) attractive, because they come across as happy.
Some people "flutter" from one person to another, because they aren't sure, and don't want to miss out. They think sticking with one person means they might miss out of THAT one perfect person for them.
There are no "perfect" people. There are people whom you are a better match with than others. You can't tell after having just met him, if he REALLY is a better match or not.
Do yourself a BIG favor. DATE one person at a time. Don't jump from guy to guy, JUST to HAVE a guy/relationship. IF you are UNSURE about your current BF, END it before jumping onto the next guy.
Here is my questions to you.
Does GUY #2 know about you BF? If not, WHY didn't you tell him?
Are you really in the 22-25 age group? And your BF had a friend tell you he likes you?
HOW would you feel if your BF were making a SWOT "analysis" comparing YOU to another girl, because gosh darn it, he likes you both so much and can't choose?
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