A
male
age
30-35,
*sleevi
writes:Let me start out by saying my girlfriend is depressed, I believe. And it is staying on me. A little background on me that may be relevant is that I am a 20 year old engineering student. I am a relatively level headed person. Basically on a permanent level of content in my mood. I have experienced depression, in high school and middle school. And I have been through a majority of the spread of emotional distress. Just no longer. I have conquered it, so to speak. My girlfriend on the other hand is a 17 year old high school student. She had been feeling increasing anxious about our relationship if and when she goes away for college, and just college in general. Her mood seems more to be on a constant level of sad. This wasn't always the case, initially I believe she was happy, to begin our relationship. We have been together almost 7 months and in the last two months I have hardly seen her smile. I love when she shares her emotions, and I try very hard to be the best boyfriend I can be. Admittedly I fall short on occasion, some days I might not text/call for hours, I might not tell her how I feel that say, etc. You get the point.To conclude, I am typically very good at handling complex emotions and am comfortable with women crying, for whatever that may be, I can usually handle it well and can get a decent read on what they want. But recently this has been wearing on me. I honestly can't handle it. Tonight was the first night I had to completely remove myself from the situation, I couldn't handle it emotionally. I am okay with sad, mad, etc, but I am not okay with her being sad 100% of the time. I am beginning to feel like I am fault as she has explained that she has been feeling this recently and these feelings have been more intense than ever. I am feeling like it might be time to break up with her, but I really care about her and I would love to stay with her. I was wondering if anything could offer advice on the situation or answer the question: 'To break up or not to break up?'Sorry for the lengthy question. I legitimately feel that all information is relevant.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 January 2015):
 IF the only issue is that she is sad all the time, then I suggest you talk to her parents (since she is under 18) about getting her some professional treatment.
Talk to her first about it and make sure she's ok with that but since she is a minor and her parents will have to approve and pay for her treatment I think they need to be involved.
Anxiety and mood swings are common and normal in 17 yr old girls. But if you say she is always sad, it's possible she has a chemical imbalance that needs repair. ONLY a medical professional can assess this.
Suggest a work up with her doctor and a referral to a good mental health clinic or program to determine what is best to help her.
IF you love her and want to help her, then breaking up with her is not helping her but rather just you.
A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (21 January 2015):
 It sounds like this relationship is just not working and so it's time to move on.
Being in a relationship should bring you happiness, but this is doing the opposite to both of you.
End it soon, and don't drag it out. It's the best thing for both of you.
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