A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I almost definetly moved in with my boyfriend before I was ready and two years down the line I'm dealing with the consequences.The thing is although I don't feel I want to split with him, and broadly speaking we are happy - I find it difficult to envisage my long term future with him as a part of it. He keeps mentioning marriage and saying things like "In a few years." or "when we buy a house" and I keep ducking them because I'm not sure I ever really saw this as something that was for the rest of my life, and somehow the situation ended up a lot more serious than I planned it to be. I'm certainly not ready to be thinking about marriage, and I think in the back of my mind I've always assumed that one day we would split and I would have other boyfriends.But I don't really have any reason to break up with him, other than I don't want it to last forever -"now" so to speak, is fine. Is it unfair for me to stay in a relationship knowing my view of it is different from his?
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female
reader, flower girl +, writes (15 June 2007):
 Given what you have just said i think you do need to end the relationship as your boyfriend obviously see this as a long term thing, and as you don't i would say that it is unfair to mislead him like this.
How can you ever possibly be happy also if you are not ready for settling down like that, your young so go out and have your fun but end the relationship so your now partner has the chance to meet someone that is ready for settling down.
Take care.xx.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): Yes because well he is with you it is preventing him from finding someone else who does want to marry him and buy a house with him, it is also stopping you from finding the 'one' who you want to share those things with in life. You need to sit down and have a talk with your partner and to be honest with him how you feel. x
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A
female
reader, Beckto  +, writes (15 June 2007):
 I think it is unfair to him and yourself to stay in a relationship that you know won't last.
#1 You don't need a reason to break up with someone. If you just don't feel he's "the one" then that's enough of a reason.
#2 You don't want to waste his efforts investing time and energy into a relationship that won't go where he wants it to go. He could be out on the market looking for a girl who wants what he wants.
#3 And for yourself, the same issue applies. You should be out making yourself available to life-options that are what you want to do. Don't crutch on him just because you're afraid to be on your own.
There is absolutely nothing wrong at all for not wanting to be with him. You're not married, you don't have kids together... you're allowed to change your mind. And it sounds like you have.
Gather your courage and get out!
Good luck!
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