A
female
age
36-40,
*implee_beautiful_08
writes:I hope you have an answer for me because im really confused. I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year but we have been in love for about 2and a half years, and we've been living with his dad for quite a few months. But he has recently started thinking about moving to another state where his mom and siblings live.At first he really wanted me to go and I want to because i feel there is more opportunity not only for us as a couple but for me with college and work. But now he thinks its a bad idea because he isnt sure if he still feels the same way about me. I got the dreaded "i love you but i dont know if im in love with you". So my question is should i just give him space and see if he changes his mind or end it now? He doesnt seem like he really wants to break up with me but I just don't know what to do especially since I will have no family or friends where we will move if i go so i want to make sure its not a mistake... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Simplee_beautiful_08 +, writes (16 June 2007):
Simplee_beautiful_08 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all of you that gave advice...
A
female
reader, auntie kel  +, writes (16 June 2007):
 hi hunniesounds to me this guy is confused.if he thinks he's not in love with you then moving miles away together is no good.maybe let him move away first for a while to have tim to think, that will either make him realise what he's lost or make him realise he wants to be single.give him time and space hunnie.good luck!
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (15 June 2007):
 I think you are right when you say should i give him space, it's a scary thing living with someone if it's not something you have done before, unlike rhythmandblues2 i believe it is a great idea to live with someone before marriage as i feel you only find out if you are really compatible once you have been living together for about a year and it's best to do that before marriage.
Let him go and set up somewhere else maybe you could suggest a trial separation and see how things go, you might actually realise once you're apart how much you really love and need each other.
Take care.xx.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): Well, this is one of the crossroads in life that you will really have to decide for yourself, but I think if I were in your shoes, I would not move with him away from my support system on such a shakey relationship ground.
Quite frankly you are both very very young and have your whole lives ahead of you both. Your first priority right now is to be true to yourself and achieve your goals of getting through college, it could be a situation of bad timing or differing life goals, it happens a lot at this age, timing is every thing in relationships.
I think your boyfriend wants to go off on his own to follow his own path, and that is OK, it does not mean that you could possibly get back together in the future, but it is probably unlikely as you will both be living your lives apart and will most likely fall in love again with someone else....
I also don't think living together with a boyfriend without marriage is ever a good idea for several reasons. One you become too dependent on the relationship without the commitment, and when it is over you feel more devestated because you have lost not only a boyfriend but a lifestyle and that is a lot harder to overcome, and secondly, I don't think it makes for a great relationship, you are always jumping into things too fast and too soon without thinking things through, and it is too easy to leave with a one foot out the door attitude....it in my opinon is better to maintain your independence and keep your power and gain the respect of your boyfriend by not becoming his roommate, wait for him to ask you to marry him and you will have his whole heart and not just a half ass I don't know if I am in love with you .....because he did not have to make the decision, you just moved in.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): He can't mess you around like this because it really isn't fair to keep you on strings, at the end of the day he is being rather selfish because this is about your life too not just his. He obviously didn't think of you much in the first place at all because he didn't sit down with you first to talk about moving away-he just told you. That isn't a partnership at all.You need to talk to him and ask him for some honest answers hunny.
Best of luck ok xx
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