A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Ive been talking to this guy for 3 months. He likes me a lot. I like him too.We have known eachother since the 5th grade. Hes 39 and single.hes been married once. Im 40 never been married but been in a relationship for the past 7years. He knows this and still wants to be with me. We havent seen eachother since the 5th grade. But we text and send pictures time to time. We have grown to have deep feelings for eachother. He wants me to leave my man and be with him. He can provide a better life and future for me than i have now. Hes going to med. School to become a doctor. My mother always wanted me to marry a doctor. Now i have a chance to make my mother proud! My heart is torn because my mind says yes but my heart says no. Dont know what to do. Is it just lust. You know the feeling of wanting something you never had. Please help. My heart still has feelings for my 5th grade crush.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 January 2012):
 I agree with what Tisha said...
you are clearly looking for a way out.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2012): I do want to say Thank You to All the Advice and Responses from ALL THE PEOPLE OUT THERE . I Think i will try & save the relationship i have with my man. We do have a History Together.He cares about me & i care about him. Ive made up my mind i dont want to throw our relationship away. Were not getting any YOUNGER. As for my CRUSH, thats all he will ever be is just a CRUSH. IM going to try & Rekindill the Love WE once had between me & my man. Hopefully with a lot of Faith & Prayers everything will work out for US. Thank You everybody for listening & sharing ur advice. I WISH U ALL LOVE PEACE & HAPPINESS .
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 January 2012):
 If you are always stressing and unhappy about your daughter, how will that change with a new man in the picture? You'll still be stressing and unhappy.It sounds like you want out, why not just admit that to yourself? Just be realistic that things won't be all rosy and perfect with the new guy, because the same stressors and worries you have will still be there. Don't keep the unwanted partner dangling, it sounds like he's a decent guy and should be able to move along and find a woman who does want to be with him 100%.The way you are writing, the relationship is already over, so you're just waiting for a push, is that it?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2012): Its hard when u have a teenager who has no respect for her mother or her mothers boyfriend. She is just an out of control teen. It has nothing 2 do with my man. He treats her like she was one of his own kids. Gave her a T.V.4 her room.Gives her rides 2 anyware she wants 2 go. Gives her muny when she needs sum. No Its my DAUGHTER who thinks she shud get wat she wants wen she wants. She has a very bad attitude. BUT THINGS between my man have fallen Apart. I just dont feel the love there no more.Im always stressen about my daughter. Its hard to show love & be sexy wen ur stressen all the time.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 January 2012):
So the relationship is falling apart due to the relationship between your current partner and your daughter? It sounds to me as though that's what needs addressing then, as there's no guarantee that the new guy will do any better with her than Mr. Tried and True.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 January 2012):
What is the problem with your daughter? in 3 years she will be an adult... is she behaving badly or is it him?
IF he lives in the house as the male head of household she needs to respect him too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2012): Thankyou for all who responded back to my question. Heres more detail about my relationship im in now. Ok here it goes... We have known eachother for 10yrs. He is 47 & im 40. weve Been together for 7yrs. I do love him & care about him & appricate him dearly. He ended up moving in with me that lasted about 4years then he had 2move out because my daughter& him didnt get along.i 4got 2 mention i also have a teenage daughter who was 9 at the time he moved in with us. But she is 15 now. Wen he was living with us i had heart trouble & was hospitalized 2 diffrent times.He was there 4 me & stayed at the house cooked 4 my daughter & picked her up frm school.I Thank him 4 being there, wen no els wud. He Got his own place now. We see eachother about 4x out of the week. BUT having a teenager who dont get along with my man. Leaves me stuck in the middle.Our relationship started going dwn after he moved out. Mabey its time 4 me 2 move on.so he can move on 2.Life is To Short. Live ur life & be Happy.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 January 2012):
Wow, he's going to med school at age 41-50? That's quite the career change. What year is he in? I'll tell you, it's hard work to date a med student. They have no time and then the lousy hours that follow with internships and residency? That can be really rough.
So, what's happening with Mr. 7 year guy? Why are you chatting up an old crush? Maybe that's a sign that the relationship needs to end first, so that you can move on and date whom you choose right now.
Tackle the existing relationship issues first and then you won't have to wonder what path to follow. The 5th grade crush guy is just a symptom of something being majorly wrong in your relationship.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 January 2012):
Oh honey he's just a new shiny toy
why would you consider leaving a partner of 7 years?
what's wrong with the current relationship that you feel the need to feed your heart with an old crush?
before you end the relatonship you are in or further damage it think about this: WOULD YOU LEAVE the CURRENT partner IF THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE to leave for?
and let's go from there....
yes sometimes we want to leave a relationship that is OK but not GREAT and all we need is that nudge of the potential of another person.
BTW at 39 in MED SCHOOL... that means 4 years then residency etc.. this man will not be an established doctor till many men are getting ready to retire.... late in life change of career for him....
and do you marry to please your MOTHER?
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