A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this terrific guy for over two years and have been holding back the urge to tell him that I loved him for a couple months now. (I was holding it back because he doesn't acknowledge me as a girlfriend because he doesn't believe in "labeling" a relationship".) So he finally asked me yesterday why I've been acting indifferent to him lately, both physically and emotionally. And I told him because it was torturing me holding back my feelings for him, that I love him. He sat there, quiet, for ten silent, agonizing minutes before he sighs, "I don't know what to tell you..." And I felt so small. I told him, "don't freak out, I'm not asking you to marry me or any thing.. ." Then the next morning, he was all over me, kissing me and hugging me so tight and wanting to have sex with me. I don't know what to do, I feel like such an a**hole for even expressing my true feelings and now I don't feel the same for him any more. What can I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, Uncles and Aunties, so much.You don't know how much all your advice helped on different levels. I especially appreiciate the male point of views=) I'm working on this situation one day at a time and, yes, I am learning that he is not the one for me and I think I'm getting use to that thought and its ok. =) This website rocks and you guys rock even harder!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): I think you have to view him in a different category (i.e. somebody you can have "fun with no strings attached and no expectations) and release the image of him ever being "the one" or walk away - otherwise you will have sex with him and each time be hurting inside.
Again, that may be fine for some, but some don't like that (especially and rightfully so when they have emotional attachment). I would look to gradually and carefully weaning yourself from his hold of your heart and look to what else is available to you (and yes there is so much out there). We are all MYSELF INCLUDED afraid sometimes at letting ourselves go forward
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A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (10 April 2009):
 sounds like he only wants a physical relationship.
he basically told you he doesn't love you back, and that changed your feelings for him.. so basically there's nothing left.
have a talk with him
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