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Now he tells me that I am leading him on, should I change how I act around him?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 March 2007) 7 Answers - (Newest, 13 March 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

i am currently in a relationship, but on saturday my best friend told me he truely loves me. i am unsure of my feelings towards him, i do love him and more than a friend but i love my partner. wot should i do?

we were kissing each other on saturday but other than that i have just been my normal self with him, we are both flirty but always have bin! Now he tells me that I am leading him on, should I change how I act around him?

View related questions: best friend, flirt, kissing

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007):

Walk away from both of them. Take a long slow look at your life and decide just what you want to do. Don't kiss and lead people on - that is cruel, especially if you are already with someone. If you are unhappy with your current bf then finish with him but don't cheat on him.

Take care

xx

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A female reader, maruechant Philippines +, writes (13 March 2007):

maruechant agony auntFirst, give yourself some time to decide whether you would still continue your relationship with your guy or have someone new, your bestfriend. Girl, it is not always easy to detach yourself from something you are most likely getting pleasure from. Kissing and flirting someone other than your boyfriend tickle your senses maybe because the idea of plunging into something new is actually exciting. It could be that you know your boyfriend wholly, and this makes the relationship less exciting in some way.

So this is my suggestion:

You may want to imagine and see yourself in a picture with which you and your bestfriend are in it as lovers and ask yourself, “Will the feeling I’ve felt be the same after a long time?” or “Can I truly establish a PROFOUND love relationship with my bestfriend in the end?”

I’ve said this since you could just be having the feeling of wanting your bestfriend because of the kissing and flirting and no more. And by this, you may just be yearning for some special attention from your partner thus rekindling the fire must be taken into consideration before diving into something which you are unsure of. Hard as it is, avoid the flirting and kissing since you are still committed.As we know, this is a sign of infidelity.

Still, the final decision is in your hands and your happiness and peace of mind depend on your actions later on. You can do it. :)

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A male reader, FLint8383 United States +, writes (13 March 2007):

I think you need to deicede between the 2 guys. but make sure u pick the right one that will treat you right. an if u pick your current one then u CANNOT be flirty with him an kiss him and stuff cuz he will hang on to that but i think u need to pick between the 2 and stick with that one, an make no "flirty" actions towards the other. hope this helps

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007):

i think you should take a break from your current relationship, take some time to make your mind up! to me it sounds like the only person you are leading on is your partner, if you do truley love him you would not be cheating on him, even if it is just kissing!

you should not have to change the way you act around your friend if it is how you normally act, yet if it is becoming a problem just tone it down a bit maybe a little less flirting, less bodily contact. maybe this would also help with the FRIEND issue if you do miss the flirting and touching maybe you do feel more for him than, it is more than just friendship! x x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007):

hes obviously fallen for you in a big way,and this is were i say never can male and female be best friends if they are not sexualy involved,it just dont work.put him straight and tell him if he cant handle that you love your man then the friendship has to end and be yourself for you

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007):

stop kissing him and flirting you clearly are leading him on! also you have someone ese think about them too!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007):

Yes you should! And you definitely shouldn't be kissing him if you don't want to be with him. No wonder he feels led on.

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