A
male
age
30-35,
*inger NiNJa
writes:Dear cupidI'm a 21 year old male that met a girl 4 years ago back. then she was to young for me. she is 16 now and damn she is pretty. last weekend when I saw her my heart nearly stopped. 4 years ago she was totaly inlove with me but that was puppy love. now I am totaly inlove with her. she still likes me, but during hat period of time we both changed a lot. she still likes me but her mother is one of my old friends and I dono what she would do if I want to date her duaghter, and I dono how to ask the duaghter to go out with me cuz back hen I told her it wouldn't work now I want it to work please help!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, uncle bob  +, writes (8 March 2011):
 All you can do is ask her. What's the worst that can happen? She says no? If so, walk away. If she says yes,
Take it slow!
(been there, done that... and survived)
A
male
reader, Ginger NiNJa +, writes (8 March 2011):
Ginger NiNJa is verified as being by the original poster of the question You see her mother known me for long now aswell cuz my friend dated her moher for over 6months her mother does like me a lot but I don't think her mother would get use 2 me as her duaghters bf and not only her friend anymore becuase me and her mother use to drink together but now I'm no longer drinking.so wha it comes down to is that I dnt wana be her drinking buddy anymore I wana be her duaghters buddy and sex is not a issue I just want to be loved and knowing that she always had a crush on me I think she would be able o be that girl and thank you for your advise
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (8 March 2011):
 Her Mother no doubt still feels very protective of her lovely daughter.
And she may need an assurance that your intentions toward her daughter are entirely honorable - before you approach the 16 year old girl.
With a smile first. A 'hello .......(her name)'.
Ask her what she's been doing. Tell her she looks pretty.
But before that i think her Mom needs to be assured that you will be entirely respectful to her 16 year old daughter.
Do you already have a good reputation in your community?
You sound like a very responsible man and i think you are sincere.
However i am adding a checklist of the things that would freak out most Moms of a lovely 16 year old daughter if a nice 21 year old man started to show interest in their daughter.
So below is my exclusion list if a 21 year old was interested in a daughter around 16. The following is my mental checklist of what i think represents a young man who would be respected in a community:
That is, he is not known for promiscuity? He speaks and acts respectfully towards women? He does not drink alcohol to the point of embarassing himself? He either studies full time or works/studies to the equivalent of full time. He never gets into fights, he never drives a car too fast nor recklessly. He will never touch illicit drugs. He has never done things that caused trouble with Police. He does not have a nasty temper, he does not destroy property in a rage, nor get abusive to others ? He has a range of friends who behave similarly well
If all the above answers are satisfactory then a mother would welcome a respectful approach to her from a respectful young man, seeking to ask the Mom about wishing to take her daughter out, but you are not sure what to say..
And rarely would i suggest this, but in this instance a respectful approach to her mother, first, if your own behavior already ticks all the right boxes, just might work.
This would also allow the Mom to set some standards down to ensure her young daughter is respected.
Afterall you are an adult young man, and she is still a 16 year old girl.
Once the ground rules are established, then you can start talking more to this young girl who has so impressed you.
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