A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem of sorts. I am normal by all accounts, but sometimes I wish never to be in a relationship and never to marry or father children. Sometimes I see myself down the future when I am old, without a wife or children.Of course I like to be sexually active and go out and enjoy myself. But on the other hand I sabotage any chance of getting with a girl or other opportunities.I am neither depressed or shy, and nor do I suffer from a mental illness. I am outgoing and do have friends.My question is: Is it normal not to want to be in a relationship or have sex and be in love?I have recently turned 23 years old, and my older sister is 37. To date she has never married, and never ahs had a boyfriend. She has always sabotaged chances and opportunities of having a relationship with men. She does not have any issues. But she never wants to be in a relationship. My parents always talk to her about it, but she says marrying and having children is not her. But then again neither is dating.My question: Is this normal, does anyone know someone in their family or friends who is like this? It gets me thinking do humans have to be in a relationship and have sex?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2010): Just a question (or two)DId you ever witness your parents showing or displaying the types of affections, etc.. associated with being in a warm loving lifetime committed relationship?? Was there alot of strife between your parents as you and your sister were growing up?? OR, was there no displays of affection or emotional attachment between your parents when your sister and you were growing up?? Did Your parents give you and your sister parental love and caring when you were growing up ??Yah, more than 1-2 questions.. but,, much like learning to tie your shoes, feed yourself, walking etc.. learning to "love" may very well also be a "learned trait". It is unusual that both you and your sister feel the same way toward normal adult healty relationships.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your answers,guess I'm not abnormal in the end.Who knows what will happen in the future?I guess people are expected to marry and have kids.
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A
female
reader, girl from bristol  +, writes (3 February 2010):
no humans do not have to be in relationships and have sex some people dont want commitment of marriage or kids i guess some people may not also want relationships at all just no strings attached fun
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A
female
reader, veronika  +, writes (3 February 2010):
 One could say I'm similar. I'm 21, and although I've had boyfriends, I can't see myself getting married or growing old with someone. It's mainly because I'm focussed on the present right now, and whatever happens in the future will happen...
I also enjoy sex, but often the desire for a relationship escapes me. I don't think it's abnormal. People are told from a young age that it's normal to grow up and enter into a long term relationship and eventually marry and have children, but it doesn't have to be like that, and it's normal to not want any of that.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (3 February 2010):
 Normal can not be defined by generalizations and what is normal and good for someone may not be normal or good for another.
I know a two brothers that are 39 and 36 and neither of them has really had a significant relationship and neither of them really wants one. Both do have some amount of depression and self esteem issues but neither are shy and I wouldn't say they have mental illness.
These days normal has become obscure and I think what ever choices you make are just fine. There is a reason you sabotage potential relationship, probably because you don't want one.
As long as you have the life you want, enjoy it. Don't let other people (friends/parents) or society tell you what you need to be happy. That is something only you can tell yourself. Kudos to you for having the ability to know yourself. So many people do not.
Take care and be happy.
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