A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello, im pretty new to the whole "post your problems online" scene, but I've never loved a girl like this in my life and any kind of help/advice would be appreciated. Well it starts out like this. About 2 years ago I met a girl online. We talked a lot, almost every day, lot's of sms's, phone calls etc. Anyway for various reasons we stop talking. We meet again almost after a year and she has a realationship with someone else. We start talking again and remember the old days. We missed each other a lot and were going kinda crazy about each other. For various serious reasons I couldnt visit her (she lives in Denmark and I live in Greece) so we talked everyday for 6 months. I promised her i'd visit her at Christmas but my work wasnt going so well, and I also had problems in my family that I couldnt solve at the moment so I needed my space and my time (im a very closed person). 5 Days before Christmas she told me to break up. I told her yes I think its the best. A month after we talk again and I find out 10 days after we broke up she went and found someone else. I went crazy, I loved her all the time and assumed we would get together again. I called her and we talked but she seems like she is crazy in love with this guy and he makes her happy. She told me that she wants to be friends and she wants me in her life, but she doesnt love me like she use to. I have to attend the army in May for almost 1 year. Im thinking of going and when I get out giving her a call. I miss her alot, and I am ready to meet her. Thing is she is 31 and I am 23 and she has 2 kids. I wasnt ready for that. But now that I lost her I realized what I truley lost and I miss her like hell. I know this whole story may sound kinda obscene and weird but I dated plenty of women in my short 23 years, Ive been around the block and Ive seen plenty of things. I know I wont ever be loved like she will love me. Help!
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female
reader, Myrrh  +, writes (3 February 2010):
 You say you are a very closed person and needed your space and time around Christmas. Whatever happened, it sounds as if something change her feelings towards you during that time as she suggested breaking up. Agreeing to break up with her probably didnt help matters. She may have thought you didnt care about her anymore and when you agreed to the break up this probably confirmed it to her. If she is with someone now and shes happy, theres not really much you can do. So just stay friends with her and be there for her anytime she needs you. This will reassure her you arent going to run out on her anytime. Then if things dont work out with her new partner you are in a good position to try and woo her again.
A
female
reader, girl from bristol +, writes (3 February 2010):
i dont think there is any more you can do if she does not feel the same anymore you will move on in time and meet a nice girl
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A
male
reader, New2thisLifeThing  +, writes (3 February 2010):
I know that nothing anyone can say will make you feel better. I was married for 9 years and then one day she told me when she looks at me she can see nothing. All I knew was pain and loss. I do know this to be true now more than ever, When you leave you heart and mind open, it leaves room for more things to enter. I would say, Keep this girl close to your heart but keep living and be open. use the experiance to grow, and before you know it thing will workout the way the are intended to. Perhaps you are meant to be with each other, or perhaps you just needed to learn the feeling about not being ready for your next relationship, whatever the reason I can say that there is someone that will love you in a way you deserve. Stay strong time heals all wounds
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