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Not sure what to do about my ex-boyfriend

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 June 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 6 June 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Two Weeks ago my ex bf and i discussed getting back together in the near future, once he'd sorted his life out and i had finished my exams. This made me the happiest i had been in months, as breaking up with him in January was the worst thing that ever happened to me, and i dipped into a really depressed phase, which he now seems to have pulled me back out of. We 'fooled around' unintentinally a few weeks back, when we were keeping our relationship as friends, however we somehow ended up taking things further. Later that day he told his friend (who told me what he said because she's my friend too) that he wasn't looking for a relationship until he'd sorted his life out.

So he told me on monday (2 weeks ago) that he still really likes me etc. but the timing's bad for both of us so we should wait a month and see how we both feel then, when our lives have both settled down. We haven't spoken since.

I think i saw him today with some random girl on his lap. i can't be sure it was him as i didn't have a clear view, but it looked like his body (he was topless) and there was a tattoo on his arm, which he has.

As we're not technically in a relationship i guess we're not exclusive and i have no right to be angry with him, but i'm so scared that he's forgetting about me. He doesn't know how much he means to me, we were in love when we were together but i've told him recently that i just see him as a friend (before we fooled around). This wasn't strictly true, as i did still love him at the time, but i thought telling him would make him feel uncomfortable as i didn't feel his feelings were as strong. But when we were together the other day, and it was the first time it had just been the two of us since we broke up i knew i still important to him, as our fooling around was more than just lust, i felt his emotion and passion for me, the way i used to when he loved me. I think we both know that another go at our relationship could be phenomenal as it was totally amazing last time, and this time we have less obstacles driving us apart.

I know i should forget him and move on as he's obviously not as interested in me as i am in him so i'm going to get hurt, but he's already hurt me so much, and i still love him, and i know that when we are together i'm the happiest i've ever been in my life, and that's why i'm still persuing him six months after we broke up. The actual advice i'm asking for is my next move. Do i do what my head is telling me; take a step back from the situation and wait for whatever is going to happen to happen. Or do i go with my heart and contact him so i can hear his voice again because i miss him so much we haven't spoken in two weeks and i just need to hear his voice and let him know that i'm here for him?

Sorry this is really long xx

View related questions: broke up, depressed, move on, my ex, tattoo

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A female reader, Bobbyjo United Kingdom +, writes (6 June 2006):

Bobbyjo agony auntBoth of you need to stop for a moment and take a look at what exactly is going on here. What your exboyfriends are doing to you is not fair. Yes they may still love you but it seems to me that they do not want a relationship at this point and want their freedom. At the same time they are stringing you along by telling you they still love you and, as harsh as this may seem, but boys tend to do that when they want someone to fall back on when things dont go how they wanted.

You both need to break away from them. Im sorry but if they really were in love with you then they would be with you. None of this fooling around and 'we can get back together in a couple of months' crap. Its so unfair on your feelings. You both have alot of love to give you just need to forget these losers and find someone who will love you, respect you and not mess you around. x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2006):

hey your kinda in the same position as myself. so mayb we could help each other? I used to go out with a guy for 4years we split in 2005 and just recently started speaking to each other again. we fooled around (as u do) and 1thing led to another. i was set to go on holiday and just b4 i went he told me he loved me and always had. I total missed hm when i was away and never kissed any1 else even tho wwe wernt a couple. When i got home he was there waiting for me. more to the point..... he said he loves me to bits and always had but doesnt want anything serious but now he has stop all the fooling around and doesnt want to meet up no more. the last i saw him was two weeks ago. im goin out my mind cos he said he loves me always had always will. do you thinik there is hope for us? what shall i do? please help i think we both can help each other x

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