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female
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anonymous
writes: This may sound stupid...Im just wanting know everybodys opinion on this, how many times or how much sex should a couple have a week, every month in order to be considered a normal, healthy, loving, relationship or sex life? I know that a relationship isnt based just and only about sex and that there is alot more to it and that it depends on how we both feel on having sex, but I know that sex also is a important part of having a good healthy, normal relationship with your spouse. How many times does the average married couple of 7 years have sex in a week or month? Please anyone answer these two questions. Thanks!
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female
reader, bonym  +, writes (6 June 2006):
 My dear I am not intending to sound like a sarcastic individual, but we are not dealing with maths here, there are no averages for howmany times a married couple will or should have sex. And no I dont think the quation is stupid, but its one of those questions where no one can really give a figure. Its like asking what is "beauty", it depends on the individual. It mostly depends on your sex drive as well as other factors. There are many definitions of normal such are: standard, regular, ordinary, typical, common average, routine and many more. If I was married, I may think that sex two times a day every other day is typical, common, habitual and routine for me, i.e. normal but for Mrs X next door her "normal" may be three times a week etc etc. As all humans differ and all relationships differ there is no set answer. xXx
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female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (6 June 2006):
 Well I think it varies, depends on how your feeling, what you have planned and where you are! As a general rule me and my man have sex once maybe twice a week. He does work shifts so sometimes its not even that. Other times it could be everyday for a week and then go two weeks without having sex. Sometimes its all weekend not leaving the bedroom lol! We have been together for 3years and are as much in love now as we when started out, so are pretty relaxed with one another.We do lots of other things together, and try to find the right balance, so we have sex when we find the time and we both want to. There is no wrong or right, its all up to how 2 people feel at the time. I think sometimes we may all feel that we want more if we think we are not having enough sex, but its ebs and flows i suppose. Its not the amount of times, its the quality! If you have sex say once a month and its totally fab everything you want and your totally tuned together then theres no reason why you have to have sex more often if your both okay with it. I know one of my friends only has sex about once a month, and they are cool with it. So its up to the individual couple, and how they are with each other and what they both want. It doesnt mean if you have sex less, that you love each other less, yes sex is important, but there are lots of other things in relationships other than that, if you love each other, enjoy spending time together doing other things, and are totally comfortable with each other then do whats best for you!
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female
reader, hannieseds  +, writes (6 June 2006):
 Hi there,
Just looked online and a website I found said that the average, American married couple has sex once a week, or 58 times a year. To me, that seemed very low, but hey, as you said, everyone's different and that figure is obviously not to be taken too seriously as the website suggests that figures to do with topics like this are really only studied for 'fun' - as how can those statistic people really know how many times I had sex the last 2 months!?
I have been with my man for 5 years (might as well call it a marriage), and when we're not sick or overly tired or stressed etc, so just a normal week, we have sex probably 4 times plus 3 times on the weekend (if he's lucky!! haha, more like if I'M lucky!). So I guess, we would be 'above' average.
But hey, every couple is different and depends on your circumstances. You wouldn't be a abnormal, un-healthy or un-loving relationship if you only had sex once a month as you could be completely furfilled in other aspects of your relationship so the fact that you're not 'jumping each others bones' twice a week doesn't matter. To some couples sex isn't that important, but to some it is. Just depends I guess! xxx
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