A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a question. My boyfriend lives across the country. I have never met him in person. We have been talking/dating for about 4-5 months. The problem is he isn't my type, at all. He wants piercings and a mohawk and punk-style clothes. Which is fine, but not what I'm attracted to. I love him. I know I do. I don't know if I should end it because I'm scared I wouldnt like him in person? I've seen him before on webcam and everything, but I don't know if I can see myself introducing him to my parents or going out to dinner with me etc. And I'm not sure we have much in common. I worry about it frequently. And trying to change someone isn't love so am I not in love for not accepting him exactly as he is? I love him but not his style. Or that's what I tell myself. And also I can't do anything physical with someone I'm not attracted to. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAll of you were right, I did not love this guy. I dumped him and stopped talking to him recently. I knew it really deep down but thought I did. Not accepting someone is not love and you cannot love someone you have never met! I was in denial but thank you now.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): What concerns me most of all is that you declare you "love him" though you've never met him. I think you need to arrange to meet this guy and then see how you get along together.
My now fiancee and I live apart and exchanged emails for two months before finally meeting. I often worried about whether or not we would get along as I perceived us to be "different" but we had great chemistry when we met.
As far as worrying about what your parents will say, well, if you meet and he is a decent guy then they will see that too. Stop worrying about it and meet the guy, and give him a chance. The worst that will happen is that you won't be attracted to him, and will spend your time together being friends. At best you may find yourself a fab guy.
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A
male
reader, zain  +, writes (6 April 2008):
 i think you should stay with him
since he doesnt look that bad in person
and he can just turn that piercing inside his nose so it doesnt show...
and he loves you
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): just remember if there is ever somthing about you that he doesn't exactly like you have to be just as understanding as he was ... it's only fair. If he is so willing to do those thigns for you meeting him in person shouldn't be a problem. I agree with Kaykay listen to her . She always gives great advice :)
*~VG~*
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot. That is great advice. Well i was honest tonight and let him know that i didnt really like mohawks, etc and he was understanding. I explained i wasnt trying to change him, just worried about meeting in person and everything. He understands and said if i didnt like it he would wear a hat or something and wont get any piercings since i do not like them. Ill try not to mess it up, hes a great guy. thanks for the advice!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): follow your heart . IF you do that then you'll make the right choice on what to do
*~VG~*
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for the answer. I know i would have to just be friends if i dont like him, but see how hard it would be? cause we proabably wouldnt meet for over a year, and then to tell him we should be friends just after seeing him in person? it would crush him. i know i love him though. i must just be shallow. i need to be attracted to someone for me to be able to do anything, truly.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): I am kinda sorta dating someone I have never met in person but we live in the same city... I met him online . I've seen pictures but I don't know if I'd like him in person. his style and attitude are fine but you never know til you meet them in person. I love him. I know I do. I'm none him for a month in a half ... but I know I love him. I think if you really loved him you would take him how he is and not try to change him... He may be diffrent but some of the best things in life are the things you don't expect. Life is full of surprises ya know ... but if you don't like him when you met in person then tell him you should just be friends .... Trying to change him won't be good for either of you ....I hope this helped . I wish you the very best and I hope everything works out for you !!!message me anytime!!!*~VG~*
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