A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years, we live together. I constantly have doubts whether he is the one for me. I do not feel as though we have a deep connection and am envious of other people's relationships. We often argue over silly things and i feel as though i try to change him. It is as though there is no spark in our relationship. the trouble is he can be really nice and caring towards me and i feel safe with him, i know he loves me and wants a future with me. i'm not sure whether i am staying with him out of fear of change and the thought of going it alone or whether i genuinely do love him and believe we have a future. i would have to move back to my home town and start again if i end the relationship. i dont want to leave him and regret my decision but on the other hand i dont want to feel this unsettled/discontented forever. What should i do??
View related questions:
spark Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your positive responses. What i didnt say was that I have been feeling like this on and off for over a year. I kind of feel a love for him similar to that you feel for your brother. Much of the time I am feeling unsatisfied with the relationship and find him quite shallow. I know he would settle down with me tomorrow but dont know if he would be enough for me for the rest of my life. Thats why i am questioning things and thinking of a life without him. I have got so much to lose if i do end it as i would need to move back to where i am from and start again. Perhaps I am just expecting too much and should settle for what I have got, but then something inside tells me that I could be happier.
A
female
reader, Star_07  +, writes (5 June 2008):
 Communication is key. Like youwillhateme said, talk to him about how you are feeling.
I think you are having the "7 year itch." Although it hasnt been 7 years, your describing what a lot of people go through around this time. You are questioning the relationship. Where is this going? Do I really want to spend another 7 years with this person? Do I really like this person? Is there someone better out there?
You definately need to talk to him. You two need to work on developing your relationship and talking about these things is where it begins.
...............................
A
male
reader, youwillhateme +, writes (5 June 2008):
for goodness sake !
talk to him ! its as simple as that, the problem these days is that when people are feeling like this, they don't discuss it with their partner. if he is a nice guy, he will be hurt, but also he'll want to fix it, and make you feel special. he probably wants that spark as much as you do.
most people are looking for someone like your bf, someone caring, and who loves them.
give him a chance to fix it, just talk to him, and tell him how you feel :)
good luck :)
...............................
|
