A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,I have an odd question, maybe, I think it's odd anyway. I think my boyfriend has tried to steal money from me.I won't go into too much detail but we are long distance and when I come to visit him, I will sometimes stay in cheap hotels because he currently only has a small studio and works night shift too. There is also construction work going on in his building, so it's all quite disruptive. As I am over visiting him AND here for work, I decided to book a nice place for at least one week of the trip. Earlier this evening I popped to his place a couple of hours before he had to leave for his shift. We ate a meal together and then he popped out to pick up cigarettes and see a friend briefly. I popped to the bathroom. As I was washing my hands, I heard him come back in. I came back into the room and he was standing looking out of the window. He said we have to leave to catch my bus in around 15 minutes. I went to pick up my bag from the other end of the room... I had brought a carrier bag over with treats from the bakery for him and my handbag was in there. When I went to put a couple of things into the carrier, I noticed the main section of my handbag was completely unzipped and my wallet (which is a big blue plastic document holder for when I travel), pulled part of the way out. I thought it was REALLY odd but I didn't say anything, I know I hadn't even been into my handbag for anything since getting to his place, as he had opened the door.I said nothing but once back at my place, I checked in my zip compartment of my bag where I keep my notes. All my money was there, but what was REALLY odd was that I have 30 euros in there and one of the 10 notes was folder perfectly in half, which I NEVER do with my money. I always put it away flat. My boyfriend, however, does this ALWAYS.I have retraced my steps over and over and I know I did not open my handbag AT ALL while I was there. He is now on his night shift until first thing tomorrow morning and I could dearly do with some advice please.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (8 April 2016):
 This sounds like you really don’t trust him. If you are LDR, you think you see semen stains on his trousers and that he smells of someone else’s perfume and you think he’s been in your wallet?
You could set him up by leaving money where he’d find it in your things.
But what’s the point?
He “jokes” about you cheating.
He lives basically in a room where bathrooms are shared and your things aren’t safe?
How into this guy are you? And why not just end the relationship? It doesn’t sound like a mutually satisfactory and trust-filled bundle of joyous reunions.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2016): This is SO strange. I just went back to his place, he told me to come after 6. He wasn't there, so I let myself in and waited. Got a pair of jeans out of my suitcase. His work trousers were thrown across my case so I had to move them to get in. There were weird white stains on them, which .. bizarrely.. look like sperm stains..... I came back to my place a few minutes ago and said hey by text to him... he replied asking where am I..... I shot the same reply back..where are YOU? Nothing....... There is something REALLY odd going on.....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2016): I am the original poster of the question. Thank you to the aunts who answered.
I think he may have been checking for men's numbers... he jokes about me cheating as I won't stay in his place due to the noise and dirt etc..... but... when I told him how I had found the bag left open etc., he just said it seemed strange and it was probably one of the guys that live in the studio next door..... they share a bathroom, but the guys were out. And I had already asked, did you come back alone and were you alone before even bringing it up, and he confirmed that.
A couple of days now too he has smelled of a fragrance after night shift. He pointed it out the first time, said a colleague had sprayed him with it. Maybe his colleague hates the smell of cigarettes too..... but then yesterday he smelled REALLY strongly like cheap women's deodorant, like sickly sweet strawberries. When I pointed it out, he looked away and looked at his jumper on the chair, which reeked of it.
So now I don't know what to think at all.....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2016): Perhaps he was searching for the numbers of other guys, or any evidence that you may be seeing other men.
Being nosy, maybe he decided to also see how much money you were carrying. I think the snooping was part curiosity; and otherwise intrusive spying through your purse.
It would be quite awkward to confront him; knowing he would deny it and place you in the position of proving what you suspect. If it really bothers you, perhaps you may want to tell him that you feel very uncomfortable; but was wondering if he was looking for anything in your bag? It wasn't the way you left it. The tone should not sound accusatory; but you should show your discomfort about it. Maybe he should know that you are aware; and will offer you a confession. If he flat out denies it, but has a guilty look on his face. Be concerned.
There is no justifiable reason for sorting through your purse. It seems evident he was caught in the middle of it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 April 2016):
 I think if his intentions were to steal money from you.. you wouldn't have had a Euro left.
Maybe he was going through your purse out of curiosity, (as in snooping) who knows.
Only way to find out is ask him.
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