A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i need help, ive been dating this guy for 2 years and he has a 3 year old daughter, now he and his baby mother are not together but he says they are good friends still, his baby mother took his daughter to jamaica for 2 years and just recently brang her to him so me and him dont live together but stay at his house for 2 or 3 days, his baby mother doesnt live here she lives in florida she just came to bring his daughter so over the weekend i spend it at his house with him and his daughter and she is so loveable and nice so his baby mother knows about us that we dating and everything anyways while i was with them she was getting close to me cause she seen me before is not like it was the first time meeting her so i guess she remembered me and she was hugging me and kissing me and sleeping on top of me and all that and my boyfriend didnt mind but when her mother called(his babymother)her to say goodnight to her i guess she asked her what she was doing and the little girl said (his daughter)to her mother "im playing with my other mommy" me and my boyfriends eyes opened up so she started argueing with him over that and now i dont know what to do i dont want to be rude to her and ignore her when im there and also she is asking for me i went to work and he told me she woke up looking for me, what should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): I think this all sounds innocent enough. Of course the girls mother is going to get a little bit upset, thats her baby. However when she looks at it with a clearer head she will be able to see that no one was trying to replace her. You (or your boyfriend) should explain that fact to her though. Also I would have a talk with the little girl too. Something along the lines of "Even though I'm not your mommy I am still Daddys friend and your friend too!" Basically explaining your place in her life in childrens terms. I know this is a tough situation but as long as everyone can act like adults you should be fine.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): His daughter really don't understand at three years old who you really are. her other mommy is all she knows. Honestly I would kinda back off alittle when he has is daughter. maybe stay at home and not spend the night at his house. this baby is going to be really confused she is to young at this point. her mother on the other hand has her own opinion to this. do you understand WHY she was upset about HER baby calling another woman mommy. If you don't when you have kids you will understand. She feels the same way i feel when my kids are with there father and he has another woman around them. they are 6 & 7 and no that there daddys friends but still i feel like she is trying to move into there life and they will forget who mommy really is. so i would let your b/f know i need to let you spend time with your daughter and maybe during the day we may can all do something together but not stay at his home when she is there. good luck sweetie
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