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female
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anonymous
writes: Recently I have accepted myself as being bisexual. I'm comfortable with it myself, but I'm not sure if others will be so I haven't told many people yet. I have three best friends (all girls) and only one of them knows about it. I want to tell the other two soon, and I know that one of them will be fine with it, but I'm not so sure about my closest friend. We've always been really close, and I'm concerned that if she was aware of my sexuality she would feel like I was hitting on her all the time. We're always in each other's space and stuff, but I'm worried that she'll be more aware of it and feel uncomfortable about it. I don't want things to change between us, but I feel uncomfortable keeping this from her, as it's become a big part of who I am. Should I tell her?
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female
reader, angelicdivauk  +, writes (8 November 2005):
 Point out the fact to her that, if she was to be around another boy, would she automatically fancy him or check him out just because of his sex? Just because you may fancy girls doesn't mean you're going to go around fancying every single one! Reassure her it is just a friendship and tell her how concerned you are about the relationship. If she is a true friend, she will accept it and move on!Good Luck, Hugs and Kisses xoxox
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (5 November 2005):
 Yes, you should tell her. For one thing, if she's really as good a friend as you describe, she'll love you just as much, regardless of your sexual orientation, because that's how friends accept each other. If things between you change after you tell her the truth about yourself, then you may have to accept that your friendship wasn't as strong as you thought.
If she's uncomfortable with physical proximity one she knows then she should be reminded that you've always been this way, and her knowing about it doesn't change your friendship. After all, if you haven't come on to her in all the time you've known each other, why would telling her about your sexuality change anything?
Which brings me to one final thought. Some people are always going to be slightly uneasy with your bisexuality. You have a choice about how you react to their discomfort, of course, and I would urge you to err on the side of caution with the general public. Not to suggest you closet yourself, naturally, but be discreet with your affections, just as you would be if you were 100% straight. That's just courtesy.
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A
female
reader, lyndsey +, writes (5 November 2005):
Yes i do think you should tell her because she is your closest friend,if she finds out from someone else not only will she be shocked she will be hurt you didn't confide in her.When you tell her explain to her how you feel then give her some time to get her head around it. Im sure it was a bit of a shock for you when you realised you were bisexual, it will be the same for her because she thinks she knows everything about you. If she is the friend you say she is,in time she will understand and support you.I have an old friend who has just come out as a lesbian she was married with a child so yes i was a little shocked,but in time i got used to it, now i often go out with my friend and her girlfriend,it would seem strange to see her with a man now.Ive never worried that she fancies me and im sure your friend will feel the same.hope all goes well Lyndseyx
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