A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello all,The feedback I received last time from you all was fantastic, so here goes current question:Everyone needs a little personal space. I am an only child, treasure my alone time, and am head over heels in love with my now ex-boyfriend.I broke up with him about three weeks ago. I did it because I craved more space and time to myself than he was willing to give me. I love being an independant adult woman, but I also love him so much and want to be in a serious relationship with him.Last week, he told me that he had sex with some chick he just met. He says he did this because she's "sweet and really cool." He says he didn't do it to hurt me. I think that is exactly what he did. Because I broke up with him. Exhibit A of not realizing what you've got until it's gone. What should I do? I want him back so bad, but he's already slept with someone else. I can't let go. I don't want to let go. I want him back. Please give me all of your brilliant ideas.xoxoanonymous
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNow that I know that it is a full-on relationship, I am left wondering if it had been a relationship from the beginning, and he lied to me about it being meaningless. I guess it doesn't make a difference when their relationship began. The point is that is not meaningless to him. And now it has become meaningful to her, as well. The only catch is that he is moving VERY far away in June. And neither of us are going with him. Where does this leave us?
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (10 April 2010):
 Best of luck to you and hope that you will make a wise decision .
God bless you !
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo here is an update for those of you that have been thoughtful enough to give your great advice:We've been spending time together about every other day for the last couple weeks. Today was THE first time since we broke up that I woke up with something besides him on my mind, and I painted. Something was released in my sleep last night, because I was completely lifted when I woke up. You could say that what I want is perfectly clear, or perhaps my options are more obvious. I can move on, or I can wait. I am at a fork in the proverbial road. So here goes, decision time.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (7 April 2010):
That is good,Explore your limits and live life to the extremes.Everyday is a new day and a new experience.
Just live in the present and let the past go.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOnce again, thank you so much for your responses. I thought about everything a lot today. After everything I've been through, all the places I've been over the years, and what I've taken away from all my experiences. It is possible to learn things about yourself by meeting new people, and finding out how you will react in different situations and places. But it is also possible (and what happened to me) that you can learn more about yourself in a shorter period of time by knowing someone else completely and giving your whole self to them.
I'm trying to let go now.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (6 April 2010):
I am glad that you have such a positive attitude towards this issue.Always try to think positive.
He is in a rebound relationship and somewhere down the road , he may have regrets or remorse .
What then ? Would you still accept him back?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPart of me sees clearly that I have to move forward from this man. We were broken up at the time he had sex with this woman and he has done nothing unfair. But all is fair in love and war. He has the right to move on and find happiness. It's just so difficult to move on from such a great love. I'm just too young to patiently work on a relationship that I was uncertain about at the time. Now that it is too late, and he is already with another woman, it's even harder to let go. I guess the only way to is meet someone new or fall for someone else. I'm so jealous, but I know he still loves me. I need to gain perspective. Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. It really helps!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (6 April 2010):
What an irony! He is involved in a rebound relationship. It was not just the sex alone and he lied to you .
I am sorry and you cannot do much now except to let him go. You could wait for him but I think you are better off moving on from him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all of you for your very helpful and honest answers. I really appreciated your responses. I took every single word to heart. I needed it just now. He told me today that the woman he slept with is now his girlfriend. They decided to take that step forward last night. I'm in shock, and I'm angry at myself for letting the situation get out of control. He is driving me crazy. I feel so strongly about him, I can't believe he's already in another full-blown relationship. He said he needs someone. But now I need him.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 April 2010):
No, he didn't do it to hurt you. He did it for sex. Men don't need to have emotions to have sex. We can just do it. If you want him back, tell him you want him back and work through your problems.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (5 April 2010):
Man can have sex with anyone without feeling any emotional attachments.
If you love him , you should not let that incident affect you . Even diamonds have flaws and no one is perfect.
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