A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear readers,I am in need of some serious advice. I worked at this day camp for two months. It just ended on Friday, August 26. There was this guy on the first day of pre-camp that I met through another guy I knew from last summer. We'll call the new guy "S," and he asked me to write his name on his shirt for him, because he had found out that I was good at drawing. So I drew his name, and he sat with me while I drew it--which most people don't do, and I started to think he was pretty cute (although he still didn't even know my name yet.) Anyways, as July started I made my own assumption that he was a bit of a flirt, since I always saw him with girls etc. So I made an effort not to like him, because I knew I would get hurt. Basically, for the entire month of July I kind of forgot about him, and we barely saw each other around the camp. It wasn't an "avoiding thing"... I guess we both just didn't know each other, and were just too lazy to GET to know each other. Now let's skip a bit. We're into the month of August now. (Let me just say that the camp has two overnights--one in July and one in August. And it's just for a night, so all senior staff must stay over. "S" is senior staff (meaning he has kids that are older--I'm junior, I take care of five and six year olds.) But I'm allowed to stay however late I want, once my campers leave at 7:30pm. Also, I'd like to point out the fact that both "S" and I are seventeen. Anyways, on the second last week of camp on the wednesday, we had colour wars, and thursday night was the overnight. So colour wars spread out over the two days. Now let's fast forward to the night of the overnight. It was about 5:30 ish, and my campers were eating dinner, but I had decided to just go and say hello to my friend in the pool (during senior camp's swim time.) Anyways, as I'm walking into the pool, I take note that "S" is near the stairs too, and from my peripherals, I see that he is looking at me, as I'm just taking a few steps into the water, so my legs are barely in (even though I had my clothes on.) All of a sudden, "S" approaches me and just takes me by the hands as if to lead me into the water. But then a camper (with the same name as "S" haha) pushes me from behind into the pool. "S" immediately holds onto me while I'm half choking. And then I realize that I have to wear my extra bathing suit, since everything is wet. And "S" starts laughing at me, but it was fine because I was laughing too. (This was our first actual conversation I guess since... pre-camp.)Now let's fast forward even more to the campfire. I was with my good friend "D," who happens to play the guitar EXTREMELY WELL, and also happens to be one of "S's" really good friends, except he's twenty. Suddenly, "S" comes from behind and sits down, but at the time I was still standing. Long story short he asked me to give him a massage, but then he wanted to give me one too. Then he sits down right beside me with "D" sitting across from us with the guitar. We then start to sing 'I'm Yours,' and "S" starts telling me what an amazing voice I have. And let's just let the snake out of the bag. I'm not going to say I have the most amazing voice, but I admit that I do rather enjoy my voice, but I got a little embarrassed when he complimented me on it. Anyways, everybody around the campfire starts singing with us and it was so fun. Then, after playing and singing for a while, "D", "S" and I all realize that we're totally alone at the campfire. Everybody had left already, but we were so caught up with the music. So we decide to leave but as we're walking back, "D" starts playing a tune and I start singing, "S" can't sing!" While "S" is repeating after me, "I can't sing!" And we're killing ourselves laughing all the way back to camp.We then sit on this couch right in front of the room where all the boys are assigned to sleep in. And I'm in between "S" and "D." So for right now we're still playing guitar etc. but then this girl, we'll call her "E" comes and sits down on "S's" lap, and right then I feel so uncomfortable and so incredibly jealous. (She is a huge flirt, but I know that he's not her type--I know the type of guys she likes, she's told me.) But then she rests her head back on him, and he puts his chin on her shoulder, and I'm almost fuming. Then all of a sudden, "E" jumps up, because she has to go, but right before she leaves, she turns to me and asks me to come into the other room with her for a sec, and I think we all know EXACTLY what she was going to ask, "do you like "S"?" So, I pretended to be WAY too lazy to get up, because I really didn't want her budding in. I think it's so child like when other people try to set you up. Thankfully, I was LITERALLY saved by the bell, since her phone rang, and she had to leave. Then I noticed that her friend "L" was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, and my heart sank again. (But I know 110% that "L" doesn't like him either.) So, I turn to "D" and start talking about songs he might know how to play, while my other ear is just faintly listening to "S" and "L's" conversation. And in my peripherals, I see "L" mouth out the words, "do you like her?" Or something like that and I hear him mumble, "I let them come to me.." And I was just so confused by this.Then "L" leaves and it's finally 9:00. Bedtime for all campers. So, as I'm about to head upstairs where all the girls are, and my friends, "S" turns to me and he's like, "stay down here and help me." And it obviously wasn't like he needed me to help, he just wanted me to. :) So I start helping him tuck in all the boys, and "D" was there helping too. Then "S" tells me he has to go change something with head staff. A few minutes later, I find out that "S" had his break now, and this other guy was supposed to watch the boys with "D." But "S" changed his break to 11, and that's when I told him I was being picked up-- at 11:15. So we basically baby- sat for two hours, and he kept referring to him and myself as the mama and papa. He also started to slowly eat smarties, taking his time crunching down on them, and that noise verses the silence of the room was just hilarious, so I couldn't help but cover my mouth and giggle. Now it was 10:30 pm. I was leaving soon, which I wasn't too happy about, because I was having a ball. So I ran and got some cards, and "S" and I started to play. (And right before this, "S" and I were walking down a hall, and he just whips out his phone and asks me for my number, but I never got his.) It was super fun. Then it was time for "S" and "D's" break, so we went outside with a bunch of our other friends. And this guy "J" said he had ordered a pizza. So him myself, "S", "D" and my other friend-- we'll call her "LA" went down to the parking lot to wait for the pizza guy. And as we're running down like maniacs, "S" was holding my hand, but then we reach these sharp rocks, and I remember that I'm only wearing socks. All of a sudden, "S" just PICKS ME UP bridal style and carries me over the rocks, and I was extremely embarrassed, and everyone else starts laughing at me. Then I start running around the parking lot dancing, because I was so glee-filled. And they're all laughing at me, while "S" is like "Put on a show for us!" And it was to funny. OK fast forward. We get the pizza, go back, and start watching a movie on "J's" laptop.(By the way, I had decided that I also wanted to leave a little later--like 12:15-- because I was having too much fun, but sleeping over would have made me feel terrible in the morning haha.)Then I realize it's time for me to go, and all of my friends start to walk me down, and then "LA" (she's like 21) starts to drag "S" with us. Then he stops and he's like, "No I'm going to go to bed--I'm tired." But he comes over and gives me a hug. So I leave, but the entire drive home, I was just wondering why in the hell he didn't come with us. My only theory was that there were no guys walking with us, so I guess he didn't want to go again..since he went down for the pizza.)Anyways, on friday he talked to me a little bit, but not as much as he did on the overnight, but I guess he was really over tired.(Side note: We had a staff banquet that weekend, and afterwards at camp he said that I looked really good. Also, I danced with him a little bit-- but just like awkward/funny dance moves. Nothing too touchy feely. But before he left, he also came and gave me a hug.) Then it was the last week of camp. And I had never expected this, but we probably hung out like everyday of the week. There was one day where he was playing basketball with some of the other guys, and he saw me walking and yelled over for me to come and play, and I did. (My old crush was playing to--against "S". And when I took an awesome shot--my old crush--who I thought was really creepy afterwards came up to me and was like "That was good, but turn your hands more in." And then "S" walks over and he's like "Naw man, leave her--that was a perfect shot!" And no, "S" didn't know that I used to like the guy. Anyways then thursday came around--the day before our Prom, which was our last day. Anyways, I found "LA" and "E" talking in the girls washroom about who they were going to go with--and it's just a joke, but people still like to find dates. Then "LA" tells me that she asked "S" to go with her, but he said no--because this head staff named "M" (who's actually not nice..and she's like 25) asked "S" already. And if you're thinking--why would two older girls ask a 17 yr old to a fake prom? Well "LA" was co-captains with him for colour wars, so they became really close...and "M" I have no idea why. She just wanted a date. Then "E" turns to me and she's like, "I know who you should ask." And then she leaves. Then I come outside to my cabin to see "E" talking to "S" and I over heard her saying something about asking someone to prom. And I either heard my name or "LA's" name, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't mine. Then "S" walks over, puts his arm around me and he's like, "I think we should go to prom together." So, I obviously said yes. But then he's like, "Oh wait- I think I might be going with "LA". But then we both shrug it off--thinking that we would just go with each other. But then I find "LA" and she's all excited about going to prom with "S". So I get kind of frustrated. Then I'm sitting on the pool porch with my friend, and "S" and his co, pop there heads out from the diner, and make silly faces at me, but I was so mad, so I tell "S" that I'm ditching him for this guy "G" who asked me to prom (we're just friends.) Then "S" asks why, and I tell him that it's because he ditched me for "LA" AND "M." Then I turn my back to him and he goes back into the diner. During a swim we had together, I see "S" and he was about to reach out for me--but then I look at him and shake my head and move away. Then I see him sitting by the tables staring at the pool with his head down, and he actually looked pretty miserable. And I didn't know if it was because of me, or if it was just from being tired. So I'm sitting with my legs in the pool beside my friend who's head of arts and crafts. We're sitting there for like ten minutes, then suddenly, "S" pulls up a chair and sits right beside her-- there was a lifeguard on my side, so he didn't even have the choice of sitting beside me. (No he doesn't like her...and she likes this other guy--plus she's the same age as "LA".) And he starts talking to us, but he looks a little embarrassed to look at me, and I kind of felt the same about him. And I just found it weird, because he has NEVER talked to "SA" outside of having arts and crafts with his cabin. So, I was hoping/thinking that he came over there for me...? I think he felt guilty about the whole prom date thing. Then later on I start becoming miserable because I wasn't ready for it to be the last day the next day. So I'm with with my arts and crafts friend--and I tell her all about my crush on him.Then "S" comes out of no where, while "A and C friend" and I are playing a hand game, and we teach him it. And afterwards, near the end of the day I'm sitting with my other friend "N" who also knows I like him, and then he appears out of no where--while jumping over us, and lands right in front of me. I really don't understand him.(Alright--if you've made it this far in the story, I give you many thanks and lots of bows in respect.)Then Friday came along. (Prom.) The last Day. :("S" didn't really talk to me in the morning, because I think he still felt unsure of my feelings towards him. (He didn't know if I was still angry with him or not. Also, on thursday, when we were walking to the bus together and he was about to give me a hug-- he stated that I was mad at him the whole day. But I felt kind of stupid to be mad at him for a prom that wasn't even real, so I played it off nonchalantly and told him I wasn't mad. Back to Prom Day:Our camp had gotten a jumping castle, which I was extremely excited for. And I looked at the schedule and saw that he had the bouncy castle right before me, so I took my cabin a little early, hoping that I would be able to go on at the same time as him. Thankfully, my kids were allowed, so they all piled on, and I climbed in too. And instead of going to our next activities, both "S" and I stayed on the bouncy castle with our cabins for two hours, until it was time for lunch. "S" and I were having a blast. And my friend "DE" who's two years younger was there, whom "S" had just become friends with (might I add that my friend "N" also noticed that "S" was becoming a lot friendlier with my friends--and she said that was a good sign.) So, "DE" and "S" were play fighting, and then all of a sudden "S" tackles me and him and I start play fighting. I must admit that every time he tackled me (it wasn't too roughly)he pulled me down beside him, so we were closer together. It was just so fun, we'd never hung out like that. Then after a while- he took a break and went off--but I noticed that he wasn't talking to any girls so I went up to the front net of the castle--closest to him, and I was like "Come back on!" So he did. And we had more fun.Now I'd just like to say that before the jumping castle, "E" was with us taking pictures. And "S" was in the middle of us, when "E" decides that we should taking a picture of both of us kissing his cheeks on either side. Later on, when I was beside him--he was telling a lot of people how he got so many girls to kiss his cheek, but he seriously kept looking at me.(A side note..I had been getting people to sign my staff shirt all day- and "S" was one of the first ones to sign it, and every time he saw other people signing it, he would run up to me and say, "Oh my goodness, I haven't signed your shirt yet!" And it just made me laugh--so he had signed my shirt three times in total.)Now we're skipping to the end of the day. He was beside me with "DE" and then asks me if he can ask a serious question, to which I was confused but still said yes. Then he asks if we'l ever see each other again. And I was like of course we will! And I know it was stupid of me..but I had totally forgotten to remind him that he had my cell number. (And I feel like he might have forgotten too...since he was really tired when he got it--during the overnight.) Then we were all giving hugs goodbye and my eyes were all teary, and he hugged me like three times, and one of them was really long, and he even rubbed my back. So..my question is. Does he like me? I have no idea. I've never been this confused about a guy. And I know that rule...if a guy likes you, he'll show you in any way possible. But he IS a 17 yr old boy, and sometimes they need to learn a thing or to. I also have him on fb, and he barely goes on. He also lives near me too--not close, but we're in the same city. And today (sunday) he's supposed to leave for Montreal for seven days to go to a cottage. I just have NO idea what to think, since he's never texted me, and I am literally so upset, I don't know what to do with myself. I'm hoping that maybe he'll text me when he gets back. And I know that I sound pathetic, but I'm just not ready to let this fish go yet. We get along so well, and I know he has feelings for me somewhere, I just wish he would show them. Please give your advice, and thank you so much to all the readers that put up with this novel of a story! I also apologize for my terrible grammar. I'm overtired, and I really needed to get my thoughts out of my head.
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a break, crush, flirt, jealous, kissing, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 August 2011):
 Sorry, I agree with YouWish. S is a big flirt and after all he is a cheerful, carefree teenager in summer camp, surrounded by pretty , fun, friendly girls who are willing to give him lots of attention. He likes the attention, and he likes being social and having a good time- and it's summer camp- transitional by definition- we can't really blame him for not being focused on true love. I am afraid that you are giving way too much weight to certain things, and taking too seriously actions and words that, in this context, were meant to be light and fun and carefree.
When someone really cares about you, in general there's no much need for "reading" into stuff and analyzing and interpreting. Things are simple,natural and fairly evident.
I understand you are a bit disappointed but...you'll have better luck next time. Particularly if you choose as the object of your affection someone less flirty and conceited. And maybe if you play with your cards a bit closer to your chest ?....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAs sad and raw as your answer is--I feel like it is true. But there is one thing that is confusing me. Why did he ask if we would ever see each other again? Doesn't that mean something at all? For him to say that, he must have cared a little?
And thank you for reading the whole thing. :)
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (28 August 2011):
 Okay, I read the whole thing. I was waiting for when you'd exhaust the alphabet and start referring to your friends by numbers or punctuation symbols. ;)
Anyways, you know what this boils down to? Honestly? S was amusing himself with stroking his ego with women's attention. It's obvious that you weren't the only one he was flirting with, and when you rebuffed him and called him on his game, he got a bit sheepish with you.
He showed no indication that any part of his interaction with you or anyone else there meant more to him than summer camp diversion. He is a flirt. Your entire post can be summed up in his one comment: "I let them come to me".
He's an attention mosquito. This means that he goes around sucking up women's attention, and he loves even more the drama that it stirs up when women get competitive over him. He wasn't "into" you. He was "into" the fact that you were "into" him, sucking up your attention and playing the angles to get what he wanted from you and other women who liked him too.
I would file this under "summer camp fun/romance" and leave it at that. He had fun, you had fun, your friends sounded like they had fun. I see nothing romantically ongoing stemming from this.
He has your phone number. I hope I'm proven wrong and he calls you. Maybe he should "come to you". He might like the change of tactic! If not, oh well. I have no doubt that you'll have no problem finding a guy who is interested in you and leaves not the least bit of confusion about it. :)
"I let them come to me"....pffft.
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