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female
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anonymous
writes: need advice,i had a pregnancy scare last week, im not!! but do i need to tell my bf or is there any point in worryin him since theres really nothin to worry about?also the reason i was worried is because we had stopped using condoms (im on the pill and take it responsibly-and its worked) but think i want to use them again to avoid this worry comin up to my period every month (pmt is enough).should i just tell him about the scare and ask to use condoms from now on? or just ask to use condoms,he'l do whatever im comfortanle with, i dont need to have a reason with him.iv no problem telling him, iv never had a scare before (im 24) so dont know whats usual in this situation.all answers greatly appreciated!!thanks
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (17 May 2006):
 I think I would prefer to be told. Make it part of your explanation for why you want him to use condoms in future -although I am sure you do not need a reason as you stated I am sure it will help him if he knows your reasoning and in general it is good practice to communicate your feelings behind making a request. Simply making it is ok but is a bit vauge, communicating ur feelings in general is healthy so having the habit of explaining yourself to a degree is a good habit in my eyes.
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (16 May 2006):
 I can understand you would be anxious but the contraceptive pill, when used correctly, is about the most effective form of birth control there is apart from abstaining from sex. Although condoms are useful for preventing infections etc, their reliability (on their own) for preventing conception varies between products and usage. Medical research shows that more couples get pregnant using condoms than, say, the pill just because it is easier to slip up with condoms (e.g. they break, they are used incorrectly etc). However this doesnt mean condoms are a bad form of contraception - just that you have to be very careful when using them.
A good sex life should be one free of worries about pregnancy every month. To achieve this requires very good sexual communication with your man not only because you get a better relationship this way, but also because you can negotiate contraception etc. You should read up on the way that the pill works because it might allay some of your fears about getting pregnant - it prevents ovulation which is the release of the eggs that if met with sperm make a foetus. It is not impossible to get pregnant on the pill (even used correctly) but the odds are very very low so it is not something to get stressed about. Of course you should talk to your boyfriend about your fears as it is an important part of your relationship that both of you must take responsibility for.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2006): thanks dr.pete, we'r meeting tonight so ill talk to him then. just didnt know if men didnt want to be bothered by lack of news, thanks again (",)
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2006): I don't know your relationship and can only comment on what I would want, and I would not mind being told about a pregnancy scare, I wouldn't get too worried about it, nor the reasons for wanting to use condoms.
Although you're the one who can get pregnant, I think being in a relationship allows you to share all your feelings with the other person. It's on of the benefits of being in a relationship; you're not alone to deal with things like this. Good luck!
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