A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A few months ago I decided that I wanted to move in with my BF of almost 4 years. The first month things were great, then over the next two months things went down hill. And i didn't realize how bad they were until I met his best friend, (D.T.) D.T was so kind, so caring, so appreciative, so romantic and passionate. That within the first week of us just texting back and forth he put my bf to shame. And at the time he had absolutely no interest in me. AS time progressed we began talking more and more and I found the more i talked to him the more I enjoyed his company. It came to a point were last week he admitted that I completed him in every way and that he would wait for me as long as it took. And if he had to wait for eternity he would. But if I never chose to be with him he would be happy with that so long as I remained a part of his life because he isn't sure what he'd do without me. So i stated thinking about how my current BF treated me compared to how D.T treats me, and I came to the realization that my bf takes me for granted and doesn't fully appreciate me. I feel as though we are merely two people living in the same house under the same roof, and that at most we are best friends and not lovers. So a few nights ago we had a huge argument and i told him exactly how i felt (that we were roommates)and I realized that i am unhappy with him. He swears that he can change that he can make things better. This isn't the first time he's said this either. He says he'll change and sure enough he will but it never lasts for more then a few weeks and then everything reverts back to the way it was before. Sigh. I find it so interesting that before D.T had any interest in me (which he does now I may add) he would wait up for me to get off work and get home, which usually isn't until midnight. And my bf has yet to wait up for me in 3 months. My bf and I broke up last summer and I really have no idea why i took him back.. Currently I have no reason to stay with him and I have no reason to leave him either. I don't think I have any feelings for him but he says that I am his soul mate and that there is no body else in this world for him but me. But I am afraid that if i leave him Ill have to move back in with my parents. I'm afraid of what my/his friends and my/his family will say. What if i stay in the apartment, I won't be able to afford it by myself and if I could what about mt schooling? And my bf after our argument says that he'll be better and its been really weird because eh has been really nice to me (which is not him )and he makes me believe it will last. I can't see me marring him or having a future with him , but i can't see myself leaving him or being with anyone else either. Its just confusing because D.T has captivated my mind. He is attractive and I can't help but smile when I think of him. He knows I like him and he feels the same. However he claims that his heart and his mind are in a constant battle with one another. His mind stays that I should stay with my bf and that he should stay away from me because of the bro code, but his heart says that i deserve better then my current bf and that it should be him .and when he says this he has so much conviction and passion in his voice that i believe him . It just confuses me, because D.T and I have so much in common and never in my life have I found someone like me. While my bf and I are complete opposites. I just wish I knew what to do. Please if you have any advice tell me. should I stay in the apartment with my bf and hope things get better? Or move out on my own and hope for the best? What should I do about D.T?
View related questions:
best friend, broke up, roommate, soulmate, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (11 June 2011):
You don't love your boyfriend any more (if you ever loved him) and you should break up with him. Chances are he won't change and will get back to normal.If you find DT so great, you should go for him.
A
female
reader, bijou  +, writes (11 June 2011):
Forget about what people will say because they always say something whether things are bad or good. If u think you need space then move to your parents place,they are your parents and will definitely come around. As 4 D.T,he is a distraction and its because of him that you can't see that your boyfriend is a changed man. Besides u guys may be opposites but u compliment each other if not you will not be in that relationship for 4years. That's usually the case when u move in with your boyfriend. Work on your relationship and i believe things will turn out for the best. Even if u broke up with your boyfriend it shouldn't be D.T
...............................
|
