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female
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anonymous
writes: please help me, i dont know how im going to get thru this! a short while back i wrote about all the things my partner was doing (messing with my head so bad!) and people were saying that i was best out of a relationship with him. the thing is i dont know how to be without him. i miss him so much that it feels like im going crazy. people say it will take time and everything, but i dont feel strong enuff for this hurt. ive had such a tough time in my life, that i feel like this is one long trial. i cant understand why he doesnt want me, miss me, need me or wont contact me. after 20months 2getha how can u just walk away? i know loads of people who have had their heart broken, but still i feel alone. how can u stop being in love with the one person u thought u were going to be with forever? cant get my mind off it - i keeping busy but im still crying all the time. im so hurt, guess i just need some encouragement - please say this will get better? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2006): Yes - it gets better. It may seem as though you have hit the bottom now - but the only place to go now is up. Just think about how much stronger and independent you will become from this, and that you deserve someone who loves you just as much as you love them. If this guy seems to not even care he lost you - he doesn't deserve you! I went through this with my ex who was verbally abusive, and it took me a year of breaking up with him again and again to finally leave him. And when I finally did it for good, it was the hardest thing ever. Especially when I heard he was going on date after date, and didn't seem to miss me at all. I felt like you - did those two years + mean anything? It took me months to move on, but I did, and you will too. Just know the cliche 'time heals all' has some truth to it. Stay strong!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): In time you can heal if you work towards it.
How he was with you honey wasn't healthy or right of him.
Please get some counseling to help you cope and work things out and to get stronger and wiser about what a good man is like and how to be loved by a good man.
You deserve the best in life. Know this.
*hugs*
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A
female
reader, caraduddy  +, writes (14 August 2006):
 i did the same i wrote all the good things and bad things about my x-boyfriend he treated me like dirt!! i cried all the time people say i should forget him but theres too many memories if this person doesn't know what he wants then have a talk with him and see what whats happening with you two. I don't think this guy knows what he wants and you shouldn't be hanging around waiting for him have a chat with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): of course it will get better. the thing is, you just can't expect instant gratification. we all want things to be better, and RIGHT NOW. but the truth is that it took you how long to build this 20 month relationship? exactly: 20 months. so give yourself at least that amount of time to un-build it, so to speak. i think part of the problem is that you are afraid to hurt. and i know if may feel like you're going crazy sometimes, but if you just give it time, i swear to god, it will get better. i've been through what you're going through right now. and i promise you, i felt the exact same way you do. my partner left me for one of my best friends, and it hurt more than anything. and i thought i was literally dying for a looong time. but you've just gotta push through it. and eventually, you'll be looking back thinking, 'man, i can't believe i hurt that bad over that asshole.' haha, that's what i think now, and that was three years ago that we broke up. just expect that it will take time, buckle down, and bare the pain. because it will hurt. and you will want to give up. but you can't. because it's so worth it once you start to feel better. i promise you.
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