A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am feeling so terribly empty in my life and wondering if this is normal. I was in a marriage for almost two decades and went through a divorce that I did not want. For some years after the divorce I felt free of the problems that led to the divorce. in fact I recently found love again and remarried...very happily. but I find myself missing my ex all over again lately. why? nothing has happened to trigger this. Maybe because I am finally settled again after years of turmoil, maybe I have the mental "free time" to think about it again. Can anyone tell me if this is normal and what I can do to get past this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (26 August 2013):
I think you are right! Now things are more happy and settled, your mind has allowed thoughts and feelings to resurface and you are having to deal with them.
When you were going through all the troubles with your ex, you probably shut down a little and locked bad thoughts and feelings away, this is normal in stressful times.
However the thoughts are manifesting themselves, tell yourself that they are temporary and a natural part of going through a split. Your life now is different and you are happy so perhaps some of those past feelings are getting confused with how you feel now? The mind is a funny thing and our bodies see physical and emotional pain as the same thing.
Gently remind yourself of why things ended and let the thought go. Once you have dealt with each thought, I guarantee you will start to feel better.
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