A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:This party in my life (married man) has been in my life for over 30 years. He got married first, dued to child born into a relationship he had before meeting me. Married her so the child would not be without a dad, as he did. I moved on, with other relationships, and this party was very supportive of every step I made in my life. Eventually i got married,and in my mind he was labeled as still being the man of my life. He was like my back bone for all of these years, no sex was involved until i got separated from my husband. Now we are seeing each other very often, but when at times, when i can't see him when i want to , it really gets to me,, I am very frustrated, my stomach just be in knots. now I am depressed. sooooo what next, is my question??
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (24 October 2007):
 You sound like you are in love with him. It hurts to not be able to be with him and you fear what the distance could do. You might be thinking he isn't wanting you or maybe something worse and it makes you feel sick inside.
He is already married and you don't even need to think about being with him. Chances are if you win him away he will leave you too in time.
Although he may not be in a perfect marriage you should respect yourself enough not to be involved this way with him. His emotional support was a connection you had but in the long run it could turn out not to be the thing which will keep your relationship with him going.
Don't base your emotions on the sexual aspect either. He could be attracted to you and even though you are having sex he may not be willing to even leave his wife for you.
The sickness you feel when you can't be with him whenever you want could be from the fact that you aren't really his first choice. If you were he would have married for the sake of the child and if things weren't working out gotten a divorce and married you.
If you and your husband can't seem to reconnect and work out your marriage then at least back away from this other relationship before you or someone else is hurt.
Remember these two of the 10 Commandments
Thou Shalt not Covet
Thou Shalt not Commit Adultery
and
Remember the parts in your marriage vows
Forsaken all others until death do us part
Think it over and choose well. The choices you make today will affect the rest of your life.
Let your concious be your guide and may you seek the favor of the Lord. God bless
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (24 October 2007):
You sound like you are in love with him. It hurts to not be able to be with him and you fear what the distance could do. You might be thinking he isn't wanting you or maybe something worse and it makes you feel sick inside.
He is already married and you don't even need to think about being with him. Chances are if you win him away he will leave you too in time.
Although he may not be in a perfect marriage you should respect yourself enough not to be involved this way with him. His emotional support was a connection you had but in the long run it could turn out not to be the thing which will keep your relationship with him going.
Don't base your emotions on the sexual aspect either. He could be attracted to you and even though you are having sex he may not be willing to even leave his wife for you.
The sickness you feel when you can't be with him whenever you want could be from the fact that you aren't really his first choice. If you were he would have married for the sake of the child and if things weren't working out gotten a divorce and married you.
If you and your husband can't seem to reconnect and work out your marriage then at least back away from this other relationship before you or someone else is hurt.
Remember these two of the 10 Commandments
Thou Shalt not Covet
Thou Shalt not Commit Adultery
and
Remember the parts in your marriage vows
Forsaken all others until death do us part
Let your concious be your guide and may you seek the favor of the Lord. God bless
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (22 October 2007):
 Just what exactly do you expect to be next? I can guarantee you it will be more loneliness, more knots in your stomach, more frustration and a lot more depression. There is nothing here but second class crap. Dump him and grow your own backbone. It's up to you and you alone to find the true happiness you want. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): Dear, you are saying you love a married man who is still with his wife? If that is so, then your next question should not be a question. It should be the following statement. "Call me when you divorce your wife" He is still with his wife and he's where he wants to be. He's not by your side. You can deny, ignore, rationalize, justify and always go back to the excuse, "I put up with all this because I love him". Look where this love for him has gotten you? Frustrated and feeling left out. You are on the wrong track, girl. You need to make a relationship decision here, not based on 'love and mushy feelings' but based on common sense. He isn't going anywhere..he is still with his wife. That is reality, that is what you need to focus on. What do you call love, dear because I am seeing you calling passion, fantasy and desperate dependency...love. That is not love. A real love is respect, admiration, appreciation, character, honorbale intentions and the biggie...real love is sacrifice. All the 'I love him's" doesn't erase your pain and hurt, does it? And I have to ask...why did you even get involved with a married man. You can be friends and be close to married folks...you don't have to get 'involved' with them. My suggestion..stop emotionally depending on this man and build your self-esteem. You are taking your lack of worthiness and wielding it as a weapon against yourself. When one has low value for themself, they become needy and they don't grow in autonomy and personal power. Don't do that to yourself. You are worth so much more..get this man out of your hair and tell him...no contact until you see the divorce papers. My best wishes to you hun...be strong
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