A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I'm 20 and the opposite person it's between 25-27 years old I would like to ask for some advice. I have a boyfriend he really loves me cares about me and likes having sex. I feel the same way too and I think we're meant to be together but I want him to marry me I don't know how to ask him and I'm scared to death. I don't wanna lose him, he's the only 1 who could make me happy but I wanna do what the bible said no sex before marriage. Every time I'm trying to talk about it he changes the subject... Pleaase help me. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (21 April 2010):
 I fully agree with Tisha.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd thanks guyz for your advice
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe's 26 we have been dating for 2 years
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 April 2010):
 So you ARE having sex already? But you don't really want to have sex without benefit of marriage? Is that right?
He doesn't want to discuss it but enjoys the sex.
Hm. I guess you want him to ask you to marry him but he doesn't even want to discuss marriage. I think you are in a difficult position now.
I think your only option is to tell him that you are no longer comfortable having sex before marriage, because it goes against your beliefs. Tell him that you want to discuss this.
You have to be prepared to hear that he is not ready for marriage if you do have this discussion. You may not like what he has to say, just as he may not like what you have to say.
He may be avoiding the topic because he knows you want to get married and he doesn't want to disappoint you or he may not ever want to get married.
How long have you two been dating and how old is he? Is he 26?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2010): You mentioned that you wanna do what the bible says AND he changes the subject. You also said that HE is the only one who could make you happy.There are a few flags, from my experience with life and God. I know that NO OTHER man can make you happy, you have to be happy in God BEFORE you get married. Joy and happiness do not come from a person, it comes from a relationship with God. The next thing is this...if he changes the subject, then he OBVIOUSLY knows what you are saying and disagrees but doesn't want to communicate about it because HE DISAGREES. I cannot impress enough how important is it that you do NOT compromise your beliefs to keep this guy. Because you cannot take back your virginity and JUST because you have sex with him, it will not guarantee that he will marry you. SEX is not LOVE. LOVE is not SEX. Stand firm in what you believe. If he TRULY loves you, he will marry you or he will wait.DO NOT ASK HIM TO MARRY YOU. (Guys will ask when they are ready.) LET HIM KNOW WHERE YOU STAND. ( DO NOT make this a 50/50 decision, saving yourself is YOUR decision. He doesn't have to agree, but if he loves you, he will respect it...and if he is the one for you, he will stay.)KEEP GOD FIRST, MAKE GOD YOUR FIRST LOVE, because HE IS THE ONLY ONE, who will never fail YOU!
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (20 April 2010):
 Don't fall into pressure save yourself and have sex till you marry. You do need to be clear and honest to your boyfriend and tell him that the two of you will be in a no sex relationship and if he loves you he will respect you and wait. If he chooses to leave unless you prove yourself to him than you will know he is the wrong person. A person who truly loves you will wait for you and will not pressure so please don't fall into no ones game. Do what your conscious tells you because you are the one that has to live with the consequence.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok I want him to marry me cause I'm tired to having sex before marriage everytimes I'm trying to talk about marriage he changes the subject but i'm deeply in love with him I don't know what to do
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (20 April 2010):
Your post is not very clear, so let me speculate a bit.
You want to marry him, and don't want to have sex before you marry him.
Whenever you talk to him about marriage, he changes the subject.
Does this mean he pushes you for sex, or does he simply drop the subject of marriage, OR does he push the idea of sex when you talk to him about marriage?
Would you please clarify?
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A
male
reader, LarryGalapagos +, writes (20 April 2010):
If he is changing the subject, then he is not a good communicator. And if he is not a good communicator, then he may not be the perfect man to marry.
Most important: if you firmly believe in the bible and have decided not to have sex before marriage, then don't. No matter what he says or does, even if he gets on his knees and begs for it and say he's miserable without sex, do not have sex before marriage. If he wants to go all the way with you, he will understand that you want to go all the way with him in marriage first.
I would rather you be unhappy first a little while getting over a broken heart, than lose your virginity outside of marriage and have deep regrets about it later.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 April 2010):
 Talk about it again more seriously. And make sure he listens. Or write him a letter.
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