A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, this is really a long going problem with me... It is my confidence and self esteem, especially around new people, my example being I used to go round to my mates a lot with a groups of friends, few of them I wasent comfortable around (kinda new mates) anyway I got dubbed the nickname 'mute' for obvious reasons... But when the fellas I wasent comfortable around left , it felt like a weight had been lifted and I could act my normal self, wich I would describe as fun, a bit of a sind up metchant.. wind people up be cheeky that sort of thing. And I have always been the same I used to get counciling for it but stopped going because of money and the fact I turned 18 and went full time job. I'm also very modest, ie: I got to the gym a awefull lot and loads of people friends and family have complimented my figure, wich I choose not to see, I say nah im not that big you're saying that cos you know me, or there is always some one bigger, my glass is half empty... Another example the compliments on how attractive I am I always get told I'm good looking and all this crap and there is still times I look in mirror n think what the fcuk were they talking about , I will never go around thinking I'm this or that, or I'm fitter than you so I'm better than you, it's to arrogant and honestly I couldn't deal with the attention. My last example will have the guys shaking there heads in dis belief haha, met a girl through a mate (he fancied her also) she fancied me so I invited her to stay over the night, now looking back on it I was a real fag, she curled up to me in just a thong and bra and pulled my face towards her, waiting for me to kiss her , now at that time I was talking my self out of it, thinking she is only staying over cos she has no we're to go blah blah she won't want sex with me cos she doesn't fancy me , I just continued to talk my self out of if (I WAS a virgin back then, bout 4 month ago) clearly she liked me and wanted that, and on my part I let my self down by being to shy.... Anyway 2 weeks later I got there in the end ;) she didn't know I was a virgin , thats how well I preformed ! But with me going to the gym, I go to tanning lounge all to improve my appearance (wich it is doing) to make my self more attractive to give my self more confidence, wich it just isn't working ! I was in town the other night and I just couldn't bring my self to talk to girls ! I was clueless and didnt know what to say or how to start the convo ... And I can't go on like that I feel like it is holding me back in life , like getting a new job, I'd be petrified , I don't want to learn to drive cos it scares me if I'm honest , lads holidays I refuse to go on ... It's horrible what can I do? Any advice, help or tips would be amazing ! Thank you
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bra , confidence, money, my ex, my figure, self esteem, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2013): Lets face it Confidence is something we need to practice.
Its not something that you could learn outright.
How your family treated you as a child will also contribute for having a poor and strong self confidence.
But over all, it will always depends on you, in the long run.
Looking good is part of having a strong self confidence.
So, if you groom yourself, that's nice. Its a good start.
Good Hygiene also counts. If you have fresh breath, you will never have a problem getting close talking to someone.
I always have a mouth wash in my purse.
Sometimes we lost words to say, right? Practice.
Like read current events. I deal with people from all walks of life.
So I try to update myself about currency conversion, economy and business. So when I talked with people from middle class to upper class bracket, I would know what to talk about.
So try to update yourself about what would be interesting or some what in general type of topic interesting, start by saying, have you heard about blah blah.
Think of something. You can do it. Believe in yourself.
If people compliments you, then just say thank you and believe in yourself.
You can DO It. remember self confidence is workable.
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