A
female
age
51-59,
*essica909909
writes:I met a American guy online three weeks ago. He is in his late 40s. I am falling in love with him .... We talked online and it seems go well. He needs to work on shift schedule, and i work only during day time. So, we do not talk every day because of we have 13 hours time difference. We keep contact on wechat ( chat room on iphone ) .and it works with me . But two days ago, I sent him few message (text and voice), he did not reply. Yesterday , I send him SMS again and said " I am not sure you are still with me because i did not get your reply, but I miss you ......" No reply from him...Two days already, he did not show up ....So, does that means he is leaving me ? he is not interested in me anymore? I want to know what his silence means ....I asked him one week ago" do you like me?" He replied " like is not strong enough, I am very interested in you, i will not meet anybody until I meet you ......" Words are so fragile and easy to break? I am confused and do not exactly know what I will do ... I love him, his way of walking, smile , talking..... How do you guys think of my situation? Let me know. thank you
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female
reader, MsSadie  +, writes (13 April 2013):
 I think all the previous posters have said everything you need to hear already.
You've never seen this guy in person, correct? And you've only been talking to him for less than a month? That's not love. And sadly, typing or saying words to a person without actually seeing them face-to-face can be absolutely meaningless.
It's possible that this man is just super busy or unavailable for another innocent reason. But I think what's more important here isn't where the man is but rather how unreasonably attached to him you are. That's worth looking into, on your part.
For future reference in online dating, I'll leave you with this piece of wisdom we say here in the USA: don't put all your eggs in one basket.
A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (13 April 2013):
 You haven't met someone until you have met them in person. People who chat to women/men online rarely do it exclusively. He'll be saying similar stuff to other women and maybe he's been able to meet them sooner. The key is to meet them as soon as possible before they meet someone else. They have no obligations to you while you are only an online entity and not a real person.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2013): Infatuated by a random guy across continents and you say you love him within a space of 3 weeks. I don't know whether it's because you've stayed too long relationshipless or what, but a woman your age should manage to be rational/reasonable about such things, you're not a lovesick teenager, you're a grown woman. Previous poster has really pointed out some valid points you need to consider eg which one of you would relocate suppose this thing works out.
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A
female
reader, rugosa  +, writes (13 April 2013):
 Sadly I think men online will say anything to get you interested. I think his interest as wavering although he may have had something happen at work.
But it is such early days still as Denise said that it is best that you step back and get on with your life. Don't keep messaging him. You are crush mode right now, so you may be appearing as too needy and that you put pressure on him.
Just back off and get on with enjoying and living life.Let him be the man and feel he is the man by allowing him to chase you not vica a versa. Give him space.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (13 April 2013):
 A couple of observations to begin with: You have known this man a mere three weeks. No time at all.
Second, its not as if you HAVE actually met him in person. iphone and video cam are still very flimsy methods of communication - even if they DO seem "real at the time.
Third, you tell us you are falling in love with him. I'm sorry, but what you're falling in love with is basically a fantasy, not a real human being.
What I'm saying is that until and unless two people spend lots of time together - IN PERSON - for a number of months, they don't get to experience each other in all their aspects. You can get some idea of what one another are like, but its more superficial than anything else. Being such long-distance it can't, until you meet, be anything else, I'm afraid.
I'll spell it out for you: you need to be able to see one another when one of you has had a really (or mildly) bad day; when things just didn't go well at work or with friends, acquaintances and perhaps a member of your family. And/or, when you don't feel well, when you are worried and uncertain about the direction your life is going and what your future holds.
But also you need to see one another when things are going well, and life is good.
The nitty gritty occurs when the two of you have differences of opinion on - what you want out of life, what your goals are, whether you want marriage and children eventually; where you choose to live.
How you handle problems and differences - and they WILL surface sooner or later - and how you deal with them, whether you can compromise on some things or agree to disagree on other issues, and still remain in a good relationship - that's the real test.
As for what his silence means, it's too soon to tell. Perhaps he is busy; perhaps he is thinking how and whether to proceed with you.
Long distance relationships are never easy - and in your case, its not as if you and he live an hour or so distant from one another - but are separated by continents.
For now, consider him to be a nice, casual acquaintance, but nothing more. Don't get your hopes up - not unless he has the means and intentions to move a lot closer to where you live. You'll just have to see how it goes.
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