A
female
age
30-35,
*ummaoftwo90
writes:My partner and I are having a rough patch, "Bob" says it'd because I am needy and I always want more than he can give. He's 28, I'm 22. I have two children, not his, but he loves them like his own. He says I need to have no expectations of him and when he does something good it'll be a bonus. He works away 5 days, I see him 1 night and the other night he spends with his mates. I'm fine with all my alone time, but he never wants to see me unless it's when he wants to. And its always my fault when we have an argument and then he walks out andsends me a text message saying he cant do this anymore. I give him his space and he comes running back, but this happens once every 3 months.....What do I do? Is he being selfish? Or do I have needy syndrome?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2013): It really sounds like he is jut not that in to you. He is keeping you around for when he is desperate. You don't have any other prospects and are basically just waiting for him to come crawling back.
What sort of example are you being for your children?! Have some self respect!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (13 April 2013):
 Wow you really think that "He says I need to have no expectations of him" is an acceptable statement from a grown man?
Honey he's no boyfriend. He's not a partner, he's not worth the anguish.
next time he leaves let him go. then change your number, your locks and everything else... be done with this loser.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2013): Just to calrify OP, it doesn't matter if he calls you girlfriend or partner, he treats you like a fuck buddy so that's what this is.
Are you being needy? No you're misreading what this is.
As a fuck buddy, I would consider what you expect as needy, that's why he does too because he only sees you as a fuck buddy. As a partner you're not even nearly needy, you're the opposite and you're letting him walk all over you.
You see him as a partner, he sees you as a fuck buddy. And if he agreed to be your partner OP then he's not living up to it, in fact he's even worse than that, he's using you. What does he do when you ask for more consideration? Yeah, that absolute asshole thing. Break up with you, that way you miss him so much that when he comes back you'll have let your demands go (reasonable demands too OP). Break the pattern and get rid of this douche, he's not in this the way you are and he has told you he will not give you what you need to be happy with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2013): "He says I need to have no expectations of him and when he does something good it'll be a bonus."
Yeah sorry OP, but you live in a fantasy world of fairies and pixie dust.
OP he has many duties to you in a relationship, he has many expectations that he has to fulfil but he has told you that you have to be happy with what you get.
That means he's not your partner OP he's a fuck buddy. Partners have responsibilities it's as simple as that. The term partner means sharing your lives, a partnership is a symbiotic relationship where the needs of each partner are met. He even uses breaking up with you as weapon against you then comes running back when he wants some pussy.
OP he has told you very clearly that you are just fuck buddies though. How much clearer can he be?
You never tell a partner not to have expectations, that's not a partnership OP, that's a situation that is only convenient for him and you put up with it because for some magical, Harry Potter reason you think he's your partner. Well he's not.
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (13 April 2013):
 Hi
"he says I need to have no expectations of him"
There's your answer, he is not your partner, you see him one night a week on his terms, that's you being his no strings sex.
How can he love your children when he sees them for what, a few hours a week, if that.
You don't have needy syndrome from what you say, your the opposite, you don't expect anything much, which is how he likes it.
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