A
female
age
36-40,
*lutonious
writes:I have been cheated on multiple times, and emotionally rejected. My best friend went out with my ex basically. And that relationship only lasted 4 years then broke up. Now that I am in a new relationship of 6 years now, I always have a gut feeling that my boyfriend is cheating while I am gone out of sight, I even have dreams about him cheating. I'm always hestitant to leave home, and when I do leave I am so worried of what might be happening while Im gone? the funny thing is is that I have no proof that he is cheating.His closes friends, even girls, says that he is not the type to do so. I could see that he isn't, even his co workers that he is a very good gentlman. so i have no clue as to why i am assuming, and being worried?
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best friend, broke up, co-worker, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, tux +, writes (27 February 2009):
 Keep your past in the past otherwise you will end up repeating the past. You cannot let your past drive your current relationship. I been there too where I had an ex that cheated on me. Heck, I even physically caught her in the act. It gets worse when you forgive them and they do it again, because it just makes you distrustful. You need to move beyond that and realize that your current bf is not your old bf and that not every guy cheats. Don't worry unless he is constantly coming home with purple lipstick on his collar and you only have red.
A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (26 February 2009):
 Its natural to be on guard for cheating if you have been cheated on before. I'm in the same situation. Your guy sounds great so I don't think you need to worry about anything. What will be will be so take a relaxed approach to this ( as hard as it may be) there would be evidence if he was cheating so you don't need to worry, looks like you have a good one here! Xxx
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (26 February 2009):
 It seems that you are carrying massive baggage from previous relationships where you were burned. I have been two-timed as well -- it hurts -- there's no sugar-coating that. But, you need to find away to release that suspicion that is so deeply engrained into your psyche. You know that not every man is a cheater. You need to look at every man and relationship as independent and event that can't be compared against all previous ones.
Again, having been there myself, I am always aware of "the signs" of cheating. But, I am also thinking that I don't accuse somebody of cheating without some hard proof. If every so often the hair on the back of your neck rises, take a moment to not flip out. Long relationships should foster trust. If after 6 years, you're not feeling that trust, then maybe you need to look at that and ask why...
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