A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:When ever i have something to say or a story to tell i get people speaking over me. It has happened for a long time now my friends and family both do it. Ill be saying something and then the people i am speaking to will just start talking about somehing else between themselves whilst i am talking/or someone else comes along and just inores what i am saying and speaks over me. It upsets me, i have tried the whole "excuse me, im talking" but then i just get"Oh go on then if it SOOOO IMPORTANT" and then i feel stupid cos its not important really....I have begun just being quiet in a group setting and not contributing to the conversation because i feel as if noone really cares what i have to say because its not interesting. Its getting me down because iv just started a new job and people think im really quiet/ignorant and i have great sense of humour. Is there a knack to getting people to respect you? Or do i just have t put up with observing conversations and never taking part? Plz help! I am 21. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for your answers, they were very helpful. I can see that it is not neccessarily a personal attack on me, some one who is quite 'loud' would just speak over people that talk quietly. The fact that i just give in when it happens kind of gives the impression that it is ok and i dont mind people talking over me. I need ot stand up for myself more and become more confident in myself!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for your answers, they were very helpful. I can see that it is not neccessarily a personal attack on me, some one who is quite 'loud' would just speak over people that talk quietly. The fact that i just give in when it happens kind of gives the impression that it is ok and i dont mind people talking over me. I need ot stand up for myself more and become more confident in myself!
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A
female
reader, missHelp; +, writes (7 April 2009):
 please dont think yourself as that, to me girls come with natural problems, but i will tell you this if they see that you are not going to put up with it then they will relise that they are messing with the wrong person and they will eventually stop ignoring you. x
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A
female
reader, justme..x +, writes (7 April 2009):
 Hi :)Well obviously, the first thing you need to do is make sure they're aware of what they're doing. By the sound of it, you've tried but have got a very negative response. So, you have to let them know that it bothers you. If these people are your family and friends, they shouldn't want to upset you, so its likely they'll stop if they know it upsets you. I think it would be better to bring this up NOT just after an example of it, as it would increase their (unjust) irritation.Say that you want to talk to them at a time where it is quiet or not full of conversation. Tell them what they're doing and how it makes you feel, and make sure you have several examples to hand to back yourself up.By the sound of it, you're not an amazingly confident person, but you shouldn't have to put up with being ignored. Although of course it is rude and upsetting, I don't think it's meant as a personal offence. If (and it sounds like it to be honest) the people you're with are naturally louder than you, they'll probably simply consider whatever they've got to say as really important. It's a view that perhaps you should try and adopt if you can, and you might find yourself less in the shadows.However, I'm not asking you to change your personality, so if it's easier, just do what I suggested above and tell them seriously that it bothers you and to please stop it.Oh, and don't let it knock your self-esteem. You are just as good and just as important as anyone else :)Good luck, hope this helps =D xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am wondering whether it's because i am too nice and i just go with the flow. People tell me i should be a tad more aggressive in my everyday life because people just end up walking all over me because they see me as a bit of a pushover. I seem to have 2 extremes though, i can be really nasty and angry or really nice (it is rare that i am angry though) i cant stand up for myself without sounding like an idiot.
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A
female
reader, missHelp; +, writes (7 April 2009):
i know exactly how u feel it happends to me all the time, if u snap and just say why dont use want to listen to me it will make them relise that u know there being ignorant ! they aren't the type of people to be hanging around with x
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