A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My sister asked me "What is masterbate?" She's 11 and I was shocked at the time to I just told her "You'll find out when your older." because I couldn't think if I should tell her or not. So, what should I do, should I tell her what it is if she asks me again or should I tell her next time we are alone or should I tell her to go ask mom and dad, or should I just leave it as "You'll find out when your older." Please help me because I won't know what to say if she asked me again. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsorry it took me so long to reply, I did write a note saying "Ask me what you asked me two days ago" (This was two days after it happened) but it was on my computer and all she did was read it and changed the font of the words, so I told her to in person and she asked me what she asked. so I told her nevermind.
A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (7 April 2009):
 Find a good sex education website and let her read up on it for herself! X
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): Oh, this is a good sign - it shows that she trusts you.
Ask her where she heard it from and who said it, and if needs be tell her what happens and what you feel, but you don't need to go into details - afterall, what are your parents for?
Coucou xxx
...............................
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (7 April 2009):
By The Way - I just re-read this thread. I realized that you are a GUY, who was asked by his female girl sister of the opposite sex, about masturbation! WOW! Now I REALLY understand why it was so hard to answer her.
While it's possible that she already knew the answer and was asking just because she wanted to see you squirm (kids from that age up to about 14 or 15 go through a smart-aleck stage where they like to do that), I'd like to think it was an honest question and she hoped to get a trustworthy answer from you. She admires and respects ya, man - do your best not to disappoint her!
...............................
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (7 April 2009):
Personally, I think "Annalisa" gave an excellent answer! If your sister can ask that question, I think she's entitled to at least an accurate, factual answer. The fact that she asked you is actually a compliment - it probably means that she trusts you to be respectful and truthful with her, and she finds it difficult to discuss this with her parents.
I'm sure your sister sensed your discomfort, so you might go back to her (or write her a short note) to the effect, "A few days ago you asked me about masturbation. It's basically when a boy or a girl touches his or her own sexual organs for pleasure. It is something very personal and private, so usually not an experience you'd share - which is why I was embarrassed when you asked." Then, conclude with something like, "If you have more questions like this, I'm not very comfortable with the subject but I can help you find answers."; or "There are a lot of things like this that you should really be talking to Mom about.".
(There is one more thing to consider, though it doesn't sound like it's a factor here: Some religions, cultures, or families strongly discourage masturbation, or even condemn it. If that applies to your sister you should at least acknowledge that teaching, whether you agree with it or not.)
Since 12- and 13-year olds are getting pregnant, being exploited in abusive relationships, catching STD's, and even committing suicide over sexual issues, 11-year olds are NOT "too young" to start learning about sexual physiology!
...............................
A
female
reader, missHelp; +, writes (7 April 2009):
 just tell her now, but make sure its in private so she doesnt get embarrased. let me know how it goes please x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, well I guess I'm going to tell her, but now should I wait until she asks me again or should I just tell her now?
...............................
A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (7 April 2009):
If she asks again then tell her! I talked to my little brother when he asks about puberty, I had an info booklet to make sure I gave him accurate info. When telling kids, don't include any myths or things you are unsure about, find facts out! And he now knows about sex too, we speak openly about it.x
...............................
A
female
reader, we-are-nowhere  +, writes (7 April 2009):
 i think she asked -you- for a reason , maybe she feels close to you and that she can ask you anything , that is something that i think you should keep going , not answering her would just make her ask someone else , and make a distance maybe between the two of you it is a totally natural thing , take her on the side and talk to her alone about it if u don't feel comfortable maybe find an article or something for her to read
...............................
A
female
reader, missHelp; +, writes (7 April 2009):
you should really tell her for the best, let her no that its commonly know for boys but some girls do it, i have just explained it to my little cousin about a week ago and she is only nine, i told her if a boy tries to do it and she doesn't want him to then say no, i told her about everything and she really understood, if you tell her and let her know that u will always be there for her no matter what she needs then she will tell u all her problems and worries,
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): Tell ur parents she asked u.And next time she asked u say go ask mom
...............................
|
