A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:After a long split with my girlfriend of two years, she started seeing someone else and I found out. Since that time I tried to be as normal as possible, saying to myself I'm better than this. Since the split there have been many hot and cold times, and I feel like neither of us wants to make the first move to be friends or more for fear of rejection from the other like a power play.We also work in the same offices, I'm also sure she isn't seeing the other guy now though they appear to be on friendly terms unlike us, which I can't explain because apart from the split which I made easy for her, I don't recall we ever fell out.The atmosphere between us is very tense, though civil.Recently she has started to pay a keen interest in me and any woman I speak to. Some have even been getting dirty looks of her, though I'm sure she doesn't realize she is doing it.i have never shouted or screamed at her about her letting me down, in fact I wished her well and left her to it. I wanted my dignity.It is clear even to a novice like me in the game stakes at the moment she has suddenly started to almost be somewhere I am or may be on a daily basis, a few months ago I will be honest this would have been me. There was a period a few months ago I wouldn't even come across her, now its almost a daily event, though words are not exchanged, its weird in the fact she sort of pretends I'm not there and I do the same with her, but we are both fully aware of each other. Very difficult to explain.She has been trying to work out I believe if I am seeing anyone at the moment, she can't ask anyone as they wouldn't tell her I know that.I'm a big boy and I have been out with people before and it ends you move on, but I really believe with this girl, it is something different and it the words of Meatloaf "it just won't quit".The question I have is what do I about it, yes I have feelings for her and I believe she has feelings for me.Do I carry on as I am being cool, the challenge I guess, do I make an effort to be a friend and see how it goes, do I make a peace offering or do I simply say how I feel ?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): In the words of Meatloaf! You are too cute!
I don't know man what you should do...but since you are the man in this relationship, why don't you start by simply asking her out.....start dating her again from the beginning.....it will give you time to let things develop naturally. You both probably have unresolved feelings and issues and at first you just need to put those aside and show her that you can be a fun guy to be with and that life with you is better than life without you.
You will know when the time is right to express your anger over the breakup and allow her to do the same. Talk about what happened and what has changed or needs to change in order for you to pick up your romance and get back together.
If you want to never have regrets about not trying than start in this way and you will see how it pans out.
Good luck to you both.
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