A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've fallen for someone and I know that no one else will ever be as special to me.I'm originally from Ireland but live in Mexico City, and I have no one to discuss this with and feel desperately lonely.He's dating some whore right now, and I feel overcome with rage and anger. I look at other women getting joy from their boyfriends, and the anger at their selfishness just tears me apart.I absolutely hate this whore he's with, for ruining my chance at ever being happy. I have so much in common and would be a great girlfriend but no one will give me a chance.I've been in love more than once and every time it has been unrequited and it's breaking my heart. I'm 28 years old and running out of time.Please don't tell me that I could love someone else, because I know in my heart no one else will ever mean as much to me. I've always thought Mexican guys were amazing... I don't want anyone else, I have my heart set on a Mexican guy.Is there any way for him to fall for me and love me as much as I love him? No one else will EVER be good enough. I don't give up easily but I just give up on love if I can't win his love.I realize that people will judge me for what I've said, but I HATE other women right now for snatching up all the wonderful guys. It's selfishness, I'm lonely and need a bf and no one cares.I have always dreamed of a latin guy falling for me, there are cultural differences and I am not attracted to other cultures. I want a romantic Mexican guy who can dance and talk to me in Spanish and enjoy music with me. I want this guy to love me as much as I love him, and seeing him with this tramp breaks my heart. I know I'll be accused of being jealous, but she snatched him up and ruined any chance of my happiness.Is there any chance he will ever return my feelings?Please don't tell me that someone else will love me, because I won't return that person's love. No one else will EVER mean as much to me.The unfairness and rage I feel at this other woman is making me crazy. I feel that it was selfish of her to snatch him up. Watching him loving and being romantic with her makes me crazy... am I a horrible person, or just mental?I don't want to settle for some crummy boy I won't love. I don't want anyone else. I just want him to return my feelings. I don't care if she gets hurt, I want to have someone all my own. I would give anything to know what it feels like to love someone who loves me... just once. No one else will make me feel this way. How can I get him to notice me as a girlfriend? What makes me crazy is when people sympathize with the girlfriend... I have all this love ibn my heart and I have cried all alone, unknown to anyone, while she gets words of love from him. Does ANYONE understand how I feel? What to do about this selfish whore?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 May 2011):
 Why is she a selfish whore ? why is not he the one who is a selfish prick, for instance.
He knows you . If you have so many things in common , he must have noticed. If you are positive you'd be a great gf for him, you are probably sending out vibes of "Hey great potential gf here ". Why is he not responding to that, why does he prefer a whore ? If you really need to blame somebody, wouldn't he be a more appropriate targetfor your anger ?.
And how do you KNOW, really know for a fact, that nobody else will ever be capable to make you feel this way ?
... These questions are just a way to show you how your thinking is warped and irrational, in fact right now you are not even thinking, you are just getting drunk from wallowing in your out of control emotions.
Yes it sucks being ignored, yes it sucks falling in love with someone who does not care about you and prefers someone else , yes it sucks not being able in general to obtain what you want . And ? ... It happens. All the time. Failure and disappointment are an occasional but normal part of life, they should not ( and luckily in most case are not ) enough to make us act or think in such a totally dysfunctional way, or to fill us with hatred and rage.
Like the other poster say, you need professional help. I don't think it's just about the Mexican guy, he's is the one who made you snap, but it takes years of interiorizing dysfunctional messages and misreading the events of your life to get you to the point you are now.
It's not irreversible though, and if you commit, with the help of a good counselor , to build ( your self esteem, your optimism, a good relationship ) instead than to destroy ( the other women , your "rivals ") you can see amazing changes.
A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (12 May 2011):
 Living the dream... Wastin' away again in Margaritaville
Ok, so every woman who's seen Antonio Banderas knows they have just got to get one of those. Until we find out oops, there's just one Antonio. Reality check.
You mention this whore. this evil, vile, taking all her while, Whore. Well I tell everyone this about hate and rivalry. You have only 2 choices, you can make them your most hated enemy or your most endeared friend.
In your situation, I'd suggest you endear your whore. It seems that it may also be your own whore inside that you reject, thus you project that onto your outer whore. I say you make your outer whore your understudy, your master, your amigo. Once you embrace her abilities and her talent for having all the men feign over her, all you will need to do is put it into action. Embrace your inner whore and get your senior.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (12 May 2011):
Okay, you won't like what I have to say. But from a male point of view (not latin I'm afraid), what you've written here is utterly terrifying beyond anything any woman on here has written before. Seriously. Read back what you've written - it's like some of the posts that Prince William was getting about his new wife recently - they're distorted, terrifying and dangerous.
You call her a selfish whore? Why? Because she has him and you don't? That's not selfish. At all. That's nowhere near selfish. It's the precise opposite of selfish.
Also, other women snatching up decent guys isn't selfish. That's life. You're either in the right place with the right guy, or you're not.
You call her a tramp? Guess what, she's not - that's why he's with her. He clearly thinks she's everything, and that's it.
28 years and running out of time? No you're not. 28 is young.
I don't think you're horrible. At all. But I do think you need counselling or something. You're bitter, angry, lonely and it's giving you a hugely distorted view of women, men and the whole idea of love.
I'm sorry, but this other women isn't a selfish whore just because a man loves her. She's not selfish, and she's not a whore. That's your own viewpoint, and that is precisely why you can't find the right guy. Your views will be driving them away. You can't expect a man to love you if your views on other women are that they are "selfish whores", and that they're "snatching the good men". No guy can find that attitude attractive, because it probably means that you'll be hugely jealous and dangerously possessive and controlling.
I don't know what happened to you to make your view of love this warped, but please, please get some kind of counselling, because at the rate you're going you really will end up alone. Your whole attitude and persona has got to change from someone who is angry and bitter to someone who is independent and easy going. Please get help.
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